My husband aged 64 died 3 days ago, he had stage 3 lung cancer.  He had just started a second course of chemotherapy after a break from treatment of 8 months due to a adverse reaction to the immunotherapy.  We were so happy that he was having further treatment as it gave us hope.  He had his first session Tuesday and died the following day.  It was totally unexpected.  They believe the cancer tore an artery and he just kept bringing up a hugh amount is blood, he choked on it. I was told to start chest compressions but I believe he was dead before I even started.  I can't get passed the fear I knew he felt when it started .  I know it could have been so much worse for him if he had been alone without me trying to reassure him.

I cannot stop reliving it, and focus on his fear he must have felt, and although the doctor has said he would only have been aware for a while I just can't seem to deal with it.

I never wanted him to have such a traumatic end , he was my soulmate of 16 years and I cannot imagine how I am ever going to cope without him.