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Traumatic death - husband had stage 3 lung cancer

Woo75
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My husband aged 64 died 3 days ago, he had stage 3 lung cancer.  He had just started a second course of chemotherapy after a break from treatment of 8 months due to a adverse reaction to the immunotherapy.  We were so happy that he was having further treatment as it gave us hope.  He had his first session Tuesday and died the following day.  It was totally unexpected.  They believe the cancer tore an artery and he just kept bringing up a hugh amount is blood, he choked on it. I was told to start chest compressions but I believe he was dead before I even started.  I can't get passed the fear I knew he felt when it started .  I know it could have been so much worse for him if he had been alone without me trying to reassure him.

I cannot stop reliving it, and focus on his fear he must have felt, and although the doctor has said he would only have been aware for a while I just can't seem to deal with it.

I never wanted him to have such a traumatic end , he was my soulmate of 16 years and I cannot imagine how I am ever going to cope without him.

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    I am so sorry to hear about your husband I know what you are going through, it's such a horrible emotional time, I lost my husband back in June and finding today pretty tough. I will never get over it, it changes you as a person, please try and stay strong I know it will be tough, but he wouldn't want you to suffer, I know it's time, but it never goes away that lost feeling. It's a challenge each day, but just think of the good happy times you had. My thoughts are really with you, because it's only the ones it's happened to will really understand. 

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    I just wanted to say how sorry I am that your husband died x

  • Offline in reply to Daisy71

    Thank you so much.  It's feeling so raw at the moment and I feel if it wasn't for the dogs I would be going around the twist .

  • Offline in reply to Woo75

    I am so sorry for your loss. x

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    So sorry to hear  of your loss. It makes me realise theres always someone worse off than yourself.. i am 49 my brother died of throat cancer of 27th of oct. They diagnosed me on 28th oct with stage 3 lung cancer in my right lung. That had spread onto more than 3 lymph nodes. I have 2 gorjus kids 5 & 8 who are my life. They have offered me immuno. But that scaring me more than the chemo for some reason. Im on here trying to find someone who has had dealings with imfinzi or durvalumab an its made by astrazenica.. im scared you said your husband had a bad reaction to immuno.? Im trying to find as much info as poss. To help make this decision as it feels like theyre almost pushing me or trying to get me to make a decision before im ready. She wasnt happy cos i said i wanted 2 weeks to think about it. Her face said it all. And still not seen my oncologist. Must not be important enough for him that day. Lol so sorry to hear about your sad news. Im sure your lovely husband wouldnt want you to just sit back and let the world go by. Time is a great healer. Ive not had a chance to greive for my brother as got told next day had tumour and my head hasnt stopped spinning since.. id love to know what happened with immunotherapy and your husband i hope you dont mind me asking? Or if its too raw then i understand and im sorry for pestering you thank you 

  • Offline in reply to Stephy71

    Hi.  I'm so sorry to hear of your condition and understand your worries about the treatment.

    Firstly Garry my husband had NSCLC

    T3N2M0 squamous cell lung cancer in his left lung which caused the lung to collapse. It also he had it in a couple of nodes. He was offered palliative care and started treatment Jan20 of chemotherapy and immunotherapy at the same time.  Chemo was Paclitaxel and carboplatin (taxol/carbo ).  The immunotherapy was called Pembrolizumwb (keytruda). 
    ive heard great things about the immunotherapy so we just went for it.  He had 4 sessions of both and then started on just the immunotherapy every 6 weeks.  He had two sessions of this and had an adverse reaction called pneumonis.  He had steroids for 6 weeks and they decided not to risk him having anymore immunotherapy.  His experience with the immunotherapy was not got.  Pain all his joints which could be quite extreme, this went on till his death.  On reflection it affected his life in a very negative way and did not prolong it .  I'm sorry to be so honest and please bear in mind that for some people it is a wonder drug and prolongs there life with no side effects.  It's a relatively new drug especially for treating lung cancer and I did research it but you never know what to do for the best, it's just a gamble.  I really feel for you having to make a decision like this . I pray you have a good outcome and send my love to you. Wendy

     

     

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    My thoughts are with you x  I hope that time has offered some healing although nothing will remove the pain.  My husband has been offered pembro and he has delayed the treatment but his oncologist seems keen that he starts asap.  Very difficult decison when the truth is that it can do more harm but agree that for some it has offered them hope. x

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