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Dad dying from Oesophageal Cancer

Imly
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I'm hoping someone will be going through similar as I feel very alone.

I'm 20, 21 next week and my daddy who is my bestfriend is in his last few days / hours. He got diagnosed 18 months ago, I have been with him every day since. My mum is a nurse and giving him all his care and I'm at uni studying paramedic science, I am now helping my mum too but it is the most confronting thing watching my dad slip away from me and lose all awareness. He still smiles when we talk which is giving me hope, I am very much in denial but I'm so heartbroken. My family dynamic has changed dramatically as my older brother couldn't cope so walked out. Me mum and dad are so unbelievably close and life is so unfair. My mum and dad are still so in love and the devotion from mum is admirable, she is going to be so lost and I'm so worried for her afterwards as I know she won't cope without him. As mum is a nurse and giving dad all his care, we have been left alone pretty much and I feel I need someone to talk to now, I've tried to be strong for mum but it's hard. 

Parents
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    Hi there,

     

    I am so so sorry to hear that your lovely daddy is going through this. I'm 32 and lost my amazing and very special dad in October. He also had oesophageal cancer with a rare complication added in. I am just so so sorry. You are just too young to be going through this :(.

    I am a nurse and so is my wonderful mum. We found that when it came to looking after dad and caring for him at home that we just went into nurse mode to help us get through the heartbreak of the situation we were in.

    After losing dad, my instant reaction was to protect my mum. She is lost without dad and we are just taking baby steps each day to get through. We talk about dad a lot in fact that's all we talk about but that helps us get through each day. 
     

    I hope you are getting some support from district nurses and your local hospice. If you need them remember they are there. Make sure you take time to make as many memories with your dad and keep being his wonderful daughter.

     

    Remember that if you can't be strong 100% of the time, that is ok. You are only human and this is your amazing dad that you are caring for. I cried a lot and was strong also. I felt guilty for crying but I felt it helped. 

    Keep going and stay strong. Dads are so so precious and remember they are always with us.

    Take care and message at anytime xx

  • Offline in reply to Angels-1988

    Thankyou so much. Your lovely words brought me much comfort. We sadly lost Dad on Saturday at 5am, he was in so much pain and it was an horrific thing to watch. I hope he finds peace and happiness, I miss him more than anything. 
    I have slept in bed with Mum since he left us, which has helped us both and my 21st birthday on Saturday is giving us something to look forward to. 

    Thankyou again for replying, it's very comforting to know there's people out there that completely understand.

    Hope you and your Mum are well, take care xxx

  • Offline in reply to Imly

    I am very sorry for the loss of your dad Imly, and I am glad you and your mum are looking after each other. Try to enjoy your 21st am sure your dad will be with you in spirit, take care sweetie xx

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