I know how you are feeling and it's so unreal. I lost my husband of 35 years back in June and I feel totally lost and afraid. I hate the thought of being on my own, my husband and I were best friends and it's so difficult without him, I hate waking up each day without him. I can see you have been through a dreadful time. That is hard to get over. I don't know if things will get any easier, but right now every day is such a challenge. I do hide my emotions, I really don't like to bother anyone. What with all the lockdowns life is so difficult. Hope you can stay strong, I do find this site helps to know that we are not alone. Please look after yourself. 

Dear friend 

thank you for your kind message ,  

I am the same and getting out of bed each morning is hard , I has a counselling session yesterday and it really helped, nothing will bring back our loved ones, but I am thankful that I had 35 years with my wonderful wife and I am sure that she along with your husband would want us to get on with our lives and we would have wanted them to if it was the other way around. 
they say time is a great healer and although I will always love my wife, I know that she would want me to be positive and think about the future and making sure that my family are ok

i hope this helps but I find keeping busy helps and I don't worry about bothering other people, if they are true friends, they don't care

wishing you all the best 

Glen17

You right, my husband would want me to get on with things, but it's really hard, as we did things together, some things I couldn't do which I find very frustrating, I do keep busy, just washed the car, then I feel sad there is no one to have some lunch with. Days are long and can be lonely with not being able to see friends with what is going on. 
Like you we had 35 years together, it's just overwhelming sometimes that I am on my own now. 
Look after yourself, and stay strong, I'll try my best. 

I hope your ok?

I hope your ok?