I lost my wife to cancer recently and I have never felt so alone. I am experiencing all kinds of extreme emotions from grief to guilt. I really want to connect and talk to others who have been through this terrible period.
I am so glad you had your daughter to support you in those moments.
I was alone with Rossella in those last hours - it was awful.
It was her wish to die in my arms - I'm not sure how her mind was in that moment but I was there. The only communication I managed was to get her to blink in response and a tear.
If it wasn't for covid her brother and my parents would have been there too.
I am really sorry for your loss - it's unbearable I know.
Everything you said here I feel exactly the same - everything including the guilt. It's overwhelming. It's like a trick of the mind making me only look at these things and not the pleasurable ones.
Yeah I get it - it's like I am just living on automatic and walking around in a daze or some kind of hypnotic state.
I not 'here' most of the time - completely stuck in the past.
Yes in a real mess.
Somehow managed to pay most of the Bill's.
Rossella was great at all this and could save every penny.
It is also the overwhelming idea that I have to start over again - like I have gone back to the beginning.
There is such clarity now on how magnificent Rossella was and also what are the really important things in life - the simplicity of two people in love and always being there for each other. It comes down to 'love.'
Start all over agan I know what you mean having the boy is great in many ways because they feel my pain especially the 9 year old I grieve for him as all his mate s have all got mummies and I can tell that killing him inside he needs his mum I can't make that happen so I have already failed him and his mum has only been gone for 23 days what sort of a dad can't look after his boys can't really do this without my wife but I have to
I hear your fear and desperation. This truly is a nightmare for all of us. But try and talk to your boys. Though they are very young, children always know and understand far more than we realise . It might help both you and them to talk to each other about how you feel, what you miss, what you are frightened of . And cry together if need be. You will be a team together - helping each other and letting each other freely talk and cry and remember their lovely mum and your wife
Thanks you we talk a lot and cry a lot that's about it I'm lucky my nine year old is opening up to me ( they Need there mum ) I need to be keeping you strong as well your story bring A tear to my eye every time I read it wish I could hold your hand and you hold mine and just tell me everything is gonna be alright glad you write it down on Richard's page good people here
