I lost my wife to cancer recently and I have never felt so alone. I am experiencing all kinds of extreme emotions from grief to guilt. I really want to connect and talk to others who have been through this terrible period.
Richard if it is of any comfort to you i was exactly the same and im not just saying that.
My daughter is a nurse and was with me at the hospice for the 3 days. She was excellent with her dad and helped the nurses a lot it was not pleasant.
They haunt me they really do. I could not get that dreadful ending out of my head all day everyday for a few weeks. Its alot easier now so it will ease of has time moves on.
I have Ians photos all over the house i need to see him. I am now looking at them and thinking of the great times we had together and how lucky i am to have had such a fantastic man for a husband of 36 years. And eventually you will start doing that, its called moving on has time passes, some days easier than others.
I haven't moved anything of his it is all exactly how he left it, his shoes/ trainers on the shoe rack, his coats hung up with mine etc.
Im sure one day i might be able to sort it all out but as for now i cant .
Try walking it does help clear your head alittle bit.
I have been following this thread for many days now. All the experiences and emotions resonate with me and my situation. My heart goes out to you all . My wonderful husband died a month ago from advanced bowel cancer. Like all of you I thought that the funeral would be the worse thing . But when I walked back into our home immediately after the funeral, I felt as though I had walked straight into a brick wall . I nearly collapsed with the sudden knowledge that the funeral will seem easy compared to what happens now - having to learn to live without Alan . One month on and I still struggle to believe it has really happened. I can't seem to accept that I will never see him or speak to him ever again. Even when we know our loved ones are so very ill and we see them deteriorate, nothing but nothing prepares you for this. This incredible pain of loss. And as you mention, I too feel haunted by memories of the last few days and feel overwhelmed with guilt that I could and should have done more.
I feel exactly the same I guess it's because funeral has been and gone we know it's not a dreem it real life I have photos clothes in our room tried to keep busy cleaning the the house but it don't help at all even found an old phone of hers. But can't remember the code I'm in a real mess to
Hello I'm so. Sorry for your loss cancer dose not seem to go after the bad people on this earth always seems to be the good ones! I thought going to my wife's funeral and once it's all finished kind of be slightly easier but Richard is right the days just get worse and worse i'm exactly the same as you guys and I do not know what to do!! Walking does seem to help but then you get home sit down for 10 minutes have a cup of tea and there you go you're out walking again. We really must be feeling the same pain
Hello Chris here I feel I need to come and live with you and you can talk me through this everything you say it's very comforting if it wasn't for lockdown I like to meet all you lovely people
So sorry for you loss. You are right nothing prepares you after the funeral especially when you are now living on your own.
Still very early days for you too and no words can ease the pain. It will always be with us,we just have to learn to live with it. and im sure you did everything possible for your dear husband.
I beleive all these feelings we all share are normal, its just very painful and unbearable at times.
