Lost my wife to Brest cancer 5 days ago age39

Never done anything like this  before but been told talking can help. I lost my wife 5 days ago  wife was only 39 she left behind two young boys ages 9 and 2  she had Brest cancer  and after a long battle she lost the fight. Now it's just   me I some how have to be a mum  and dad and keeping strong for the kids  with all the mummy in hevan  and will always be with us but all I want  to do is to kiss her lips and cuddle once more.     29/12/20 day 8  of this nightmare children seem to be dealing with all this ok ish! 2 year old asked for mummy ever time the phone rings had to bath him without mummy for the first time  that was very hard but I think harder for me than him 9 year old very quiet always playing mine craft  but does stop and talk  about mummy when feeling sad with is hard but lovely at the same time. Going forward I'm thinking of doing a memory jar  so we can Remember things  about  mummy not sure what else I can do? 9/2/21 sorted all the funeral stuff out music photos etc not a job anymore want to do  it's all just a daze! Sometimes at night I here her talking to me  so I sleep well and morning comes and I'm hit by that train again  just going round and round 

Parents
  • I am so sorry to hear for your loss !!

    And really feel for your kids and you can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling !! You are wife was too young to go !!

    But you will have to be strong for you kids, I hope you have family friends support network . It definitely helps talking to other people. 

    I have lost two relatives to cancer one of them was who had two girls (one 9 and one was 11 ). That was 10 year ago 

    Jeet123

  •  Thank you for your kind words  The best I can say is I'm very very fragile at the moment loved / love my wife so much  but her last words were o love you so much please look after the kids you are a great dad please don't come and find me  until you live your live  so I gave her my word x hope your ok?im so sorry just saw your post  I'm so sorry To hear you have breast cancer but you're right it's good to get it checked out straight away I'm here to talk if you want to

  • Hi Chris 2020 

    Yeah I had surgery about six weeks ago and will have radio therapy in two weeks time 

    Its understandable that you are very  fragile as it's been only few days , you lost your other half it s going to be painful journey but time heels!

    I was only 3 year old when my dad dad died and my mum brought 2 kids her own and she did very good job of it!!

    You have to be very brave for your kids take one step at time and ask for help and support when you need it from family and friends. 

    And please keep us informed how you been doing and if needs to talk 

    Take care 

    Jeet123

     

     

     

  • Six weeks  wow I remember all the radiotherapy  good luck  I'm sure everything will work out for you ( my wife would hate me saying that) she would want me to say  you go girl and kick the cancer s *** keep strong   You can do this  her words seem much better than mine. X

  • Thanks Chris

    I am the lucky one that cancer was diagnosed very early and it was stage 1 !! I am staying positive 

    Sounds that your wife was very strong women !! 

    What was her cancer stage? And how long ago she was diagnosed? I hope don't mind me asking ? 

    Look after yourself and the kids 

    This must be very lonely times as with covid 19 cant see many people !!

    I hope you are getting lot of support from family if cant see people in person do video calls etc so your chilldern can attract with the family! 

    Take care God bless you 

Reply
  • Thanks Chris

    I am the lucky one that cancer was diagnosed very early and it was stage 1 !! I am staying positive 

    Sounds that your wife was very strong women !! 

    What was her cancer stage? And how long ago she was diagnosed? I hope don't mind me asking ? 

    Look after yourself and the kids 

    This must be very lonely times as with covid 19 cant see many people !!

    I hope you are getting lot of support from family if cant see people in person do video calls etc so your chilldern can attract with the family! 

    Take care God bless you 

Children
  • Hello  my wife was first diagnosed in 2014  stages 2 close to 3   She had no pain she just felt a lump in her breast  we we're always Checking  we loved her boobs/ body  or thinking about it maybe she just got them out for me. anyway I few weeks later   Chemotherapy then the operation basically made her a new boob with her tummy fat  got lots of cancer cells out then radiotherapy which he sailed through And that Herceptin drug  6years on she got the all clear cancer had gone  in that time we got married and had another beautiful boy  in 2018-2019 then it came back a lot stronger she had chemo again but couldn't have many tablets as the heart was weak  chemo starting to work then went down hill fast  cancer has spread to her lungs and heart only lasted about 3weeks  di so at least we had time to say goodbye x she loved talking to people on here  so I felt are give it a go x

  • Thank you for the reply 

    It's very sad that after given all clear it came back 

    I found this site very usefull and  it helps to come terms pain and with sad feelings 

    Take care 

    Jeet123

  • Hi I made a mistake when I said my wife got the all clear she still had to go for mri scan every year  to check