I became a widow in February 2015 after losing my husband at the age of 56 to throat cancer, it doesn't seem to be getting any easier. I still really struggle, and can't imagine ever feeling any better.
I wanted to reply to you and say I am so so sorry. I lost my amazing dad in October this year 2 weeks after diagnosis at 58. My mum lost her husband of 37 years and so through her I can see how awful it is.
Please be kind to yourself whether it is 5 day, 5 weeks, 5 months or 5 years we aren't expected to just get over our losses. Make sure you are getting support. Have you accessed any councillor sessions? We are due to start counselling next year.
Each day that passes is a milestone - you have done so well to get through 5 years but remember it's ok to still struggle and cry. I don't believe that time is a healer but believe as time goes on we adapt as we have to.
Please reach out if you want to talk or just scream. We can do this! Xx
Evening Gtp, thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. I'm lucky not to be on my own Christmas Day, I will be going to my nephew's as I'm in his bubble. The reason being, I have no children or parents. 9 weeks before we were meant to get married my late husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer, it had spread and very poorly. He managed to pull through, but this prevented us being able to have children. I know this made us much closer, and we did everything together. If it wasn't for my nephew and his family I really don't know how I would have got this far. But I don't like to keep pouring my heart out to them, they have a young family and have enough to do without keep listening to me go on. I'm a carer in the community and I love it, but it's when I get home.
Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of you dad, I really feel for your mum. And I feel for you also. I lost my dad suddenly to a heart attack in 2003, and in 2009 I lost my mum to breast cancer. Also I haven't got any children as my late husband also had testicular cancer just before we got married, and this made him infertile. I had counselling at the local hospice after I lost my husband, I thought after a few month's I felt like I was in a better place. Then I returned to counselling about a year later. I know the way the world is at the moment isn't helping, I just feel like I'll never be happy again.
Evening Gtp thank you for replying again, I felt a bit better last night just writing down how I've been feeling. Christmas time has been hard since he passed away, but being with the little ones will help on the day. Hope you have a good Christmas
