Hello I'm so sorry about your wife I lost my husband of 40years on the 12th December like you I'm completely lost we spent every day together and were looking forward to a long and happy retirement. He was diagnosed with kidney cancer 4 years ago and fought so hard but it spread to his lungs, liver and finally his bones. I held his hand as he took his last breath and I can't get those images out of my head the pain is unbearable. Coming home to an empty house today Christmas Day was really awful. Thinking of you. 
 

Elaine

Hi Elaine

Sorry to hear about your husband, i stayed at my daughters on christmas day as i coulnt bare to be at home, got back today and the emotions hit me like an hammer. My wife was taken ill in the bathroom which is quite small so when the ambulance crew arrived i had to wait outside the door, it is eating me away to think if i could have got in there i would have been with her as she passed, as they finally wheeled her out i could tell she was gone, i helped steady her on the chair as they got her down the stairs then helped get her to the ambulance. I cant get the images out of my head and as with yourself the pain is unbearable.

How do we get through this, i just cant see a way forward for me now as she was my life

Stay safe

Rob

Hi Elaine

Sorry to hear about your husband, i stayed at my daughters on christmas day as i coulnt bare to be at home, got back today and the emotions hit me like an hammer. My wife was taken ill in the bathroom which is quite small so when the ambulance crew arrived i had to wait outside the door, it is eating me away to think if i could have got in there i would have been with her as she passed, as they finally wheeled her out i could tell she was gone, i helped steady her on the chair as they got her down the stairs then helped get her to the ambulance. I cant get the images out of my head and as with yourself the pain is unbearable.

How do we get through this, i just cant see a way forward for me now as she was my life

Stay safe

Rob