Hi 

I’m so sorry to hear about your wife . I had  a similar experience with my husband I lost my husband to lung cancer on the 9/9/19 after being diagnosed in June 2019 this came as a complete shock as he was only 54 fit and healthy. We have been together for 26yrs married 19 yrs. This was such a sudden death so we were not prepared also the doctors kept putting it down to infection then virus until it was too late ! He had just one week if chemotherapy/immunotherapy and was rushed into hospital where he said the same thing that the pain was in his heart before he passed away. 

How do you cope ? Well it is literally day by day , it takes time .  It gets a little easier as you learn to get on with life but you never forget.  Some days you will struggle and you have to tell yourself what would they be telling you now.  They would want you to carry on and try and enjoy your life well that is a joke at the moment I know but you have to live for them .  Do you have any children? Take care as this is early days for you .

Victoria 

Hi Victoria

Sorry to here about your husband, I do have children but all grown up with their own homes, its nice when they are here so we can grieve together but when they go home, the silence is un bearable. I just keep thinking I should have seen the signs earlier on the day it happened so I could have kept her here longer everything seems to be what if i did this or what if i did that nothing makes sense any more.

My wife was also 54, such a young age for this to happen.

I know it is early days but I dont see a way forward, i cant comprehend my life without her, i just feel so empty. 
 

Stay safe

Rob

Hi Rob

yes you will get lots of questions in your head only if I did this or reacted quicker .  I know I did as my husband became worse 5 days after the chemo as they told us ‘ it’s going to get worse before it gets better’ little did we know this was the end of his life.  They put it down to pneumonia but I called the cancer nurse all weekend did his temperature all the right things until I decided to call an ambulance.  But my husband kept saying he was ok but he was being sick the whole weekend .  It is a difficult time with this covid going on it’s more strain on people who have lost and greiving.  I just started to more forward in which you will in your own time.  I went back to work for  a couple of days then to 3 days .  I started to go out with friends but since covid it made me go 2 steps back .  I did the other night go out with our friends for a meal which was really hard to do as they were couples and when we arrived the lady greeted us by saying a table for 6! In which there was obviously only 5 of us.  I guess I am going to get a lot of these thing come up but you just deal with it .  You are in such early days you need to do you you need to do and don’t be to hard on yourself I don’t think you could have done anything differently if their time was up we couldn’t  help.  You will get to a stage where you don’t count the days the week, months they have passed you learn to accept they have gone and you have got to carry on as they would want you to but very hard to do . 

All the best 

Victoria x

Hi 

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry to hear about your wife. I had cancer myself and lost my beautiful sister to cancer  a couple of years ago. It's a frightening illness that changes people's lives forever. I can't imagine fully what it feels like for you but I just wanted to say to be without someone is very very difficult but in time you will be OK. Look after yourself, take care

Hello I'm so sorry about your wife I lost my husband of 40years on the 12th December like you I'm completely lost we spent every day together and were looking forward to a long and happy retirement. He was diagnosed with kidney cancer 4 years ago and fought so hard but it spread to his lungs, liver and finally his bones. I held his hand as he took his last breath and I can't get those images out of my head the pain is unbearable. Coming home to an empty house today Christmas Day was really awful. Thinking of you. 
 

Elaine