My dad died on 1 December. He had metastatic bowel cancer that spread to the liver then lung and died six years after diagnosis.
I really really don't know how to live in a world without him, how to carry on and have a life of my own. I'm 19, my sister is only 16 and now it's just us and mum at home. These last months have been so difficult, everything is so raw and we have no other family to rely on, so it's like a huge hole has appeared in our close and loving family.
Ive read and posted things on here before and while I find it reassuring to know i'm not alone, I just find it hard to read about people losing their parents when they're old. Dad never got to watch us grow up, he said his aim was to watch me graduate and he won't even get that. He was too young and strong and had plans, having only just retired. Him and Mum wanted to travel and had been together for 34 years. I don't know how to process the anger I feel at this and I know losing anyone is horrible, but it's hard for me to listen to people saying 'i've been there', when their parent died in their 80s after watching grandchildren grow up. I'm scared my memory of him will fade and that I can't create new memories with him.
I just miss him loads, I don't know what to do.
