It will be one year next week from loosing my mum to sepsis from her chemo treatment, to make the situation worse it happened 3 days aftermy birthday and on my dads birthday so its hard to know how to feel this year. 

Every Christmas since I was a child it would be a tradition for me and my mum to put up the Christmas tree and last year we did it together the week before she passed. 

My dad is insisting I need to put it up myself this week as its 'my responsibility' and  he 'cant cope but I dont know if mentally I can do it. We have an artificial tree and I asked him if this year we could buy a real one together as it would be a nice thing to do just for this year as then at least I dont need to assemble it but I have been told by him if I want to do that I have to pay for it and its a waste of money. 

Im struggling with the whole situation anyway but im getting absolutely no support or help from him at all and im so fed up of being the strong one, always having to put on the brave face and get on with things even when they are deeply upsetting me and making my grieving even harder when all he says is he can't cope with doing anything and I wouldnt understand coz although it was my mum it was his wife and apparently thats so much worse. (I completely understand its a different type of grief and we all deal with things in different ways but I hqvnt been able to deal with her passing in my way as I've had to be there and support my dad every step of the way without getting ANY support back)

I know it sounds like a petty situation but I feel very alone because of it and just not sure how to deal with this first year without her.