Hi

So sorry to hear about your dad. 
My family have found out today and I can't cope.

I can't stop crying! I feel like My heart is being stamped on it hurts! It hurts so much!

I don't know how I'll keep going, I know I have to but I can't think of my live without my dad.

My daughter is only 14 months and adores her grandad! And my dad adores her!

I can't cope!

I haven't stopped crying! I don't know what to do with myself! 
 

Hi all. I just found out yesterday my Dad - who I ADORE - has inoperable cancer, which may have spread. Still waiting on details of how long he has but it's not looking good. It's totally out of the blue - he is a healthy 76 year old who walks 20km per day. It's crushing. He is literally the best dad anyone could ever wish for. An incredible father in every way. I am so grateful to him for existing.  BUT so far he and my mum are taking it incredibly. I write the following because it helps me and may help someone out there. We all have a birth day and a death day. None of us know where we were before birth or where we are going after death. Both are check points on an incredible adventure. For me death is a transition - to a new unknown phase - and this life is one pit stop on our journey. Yet we celebrate birth days, while treating the death day as a tragedy. On death there is no worldly stress - our duties are over, we can as they say 'rest in peace'. I think that treating death as a tragedy exacerbates the grief of saying good bye to loved ones and also creates fear around the whole topic. We try to forget all about death while we live - and often live in fear of it. But living with conscious acceptance of death makes us more free in life and helps us to deal with death when it comes for us or our loved ones. If we can start to see death as another check point on the journey - rather than a tragic and final end, it takes some of the sharpest pain out of dealing with it. None of us have a clue what it is - so it's not about being 'right'. Simply, what's the best way to look at it? I'm lucky my parents both always saw death like a transition. My dad has lived a good life and feels blessed for the time we have all had. I feel so lucky to have him in my life and to get the chance to be near him right to the end and to plan our goodbyes rather than lose him suddenly. I will be there to the last minute and wish him peace and beauty every minute he has left on this earth and into the next realm too. And the greatest gift I can give him now is to celebrate life with him while he is here and help him pass on to wherever he is headed shrouded in love and gratitude and good energy. I'll be a mess when it hits me and I will miss him so much, but deep down I have never seen death as something horrible in and of itself. All we can do in the face of death - the great force that trumps us all - is to try to be brave and meet it with a smiling heart. We can't control the grief we feel and repressing it doesn't always help. But trying to see death and birth as two parts of the same great mystery is really helping me to frame this as something I can deal with. I wish all of you who are going through this love amidst the pain, strength inside your anguish, and light inside the dark. 

Hi all. I just found out yesterday my Dad - who I ADORE - has inoperable cancer, which may have spread. Still waiting on details of how long he has but it's not looking good. It's totally out of the blue - he is a healthy 76 year old who walks 20km per day. It's crushing. He is literally the best dad anyone could ever wish for. An incredible father in every way. I am so grateful to him for existing.  BUT so far he and my mum are taking it incredibly. I write the following because it helps me and may help someone out there. We all have a birth day and a death day. None of us know where we were before birth or where we are going after death. Both are check points on an incredible adventure. For me death is a transition - to a new unknown phase - and this life is one pit stop on our journey. Yet we celebrate birth days, while treating the death day as a tragedy. On death there is no worldly stress - our duties are over, we can as they say 'rest in peace'. I think that treating death as a tragedy exacerbates the grief of saying good bye to loved ones and also creates fear around the whole topic. We try to forget all about death while we live - and often live in fear of it. But living with conscious acceptance of death makes us more free in life and helps us to deal with death when it comes for us or our loved ones. If we can start to see death as another check point on the journey - rather than a tragic and final end, it takes some of the sharpest pain out of dealing with it. None of us have a clue what it is - so it's not about being 'right'. Simply, what's the best way to look at it? I'm lucky my parents both always saw death like a transition. My dad has lived a good life and feels blessed for the time we have all had. I feel so lucky to have him in my life and to get the chance to be near him right to the end and to plan our goodbyes rather than lose him suddenly. I will be there to the last minute and wish him peace and beauty every minute he has left on this earth and into the next realm too. And the greatest gift I can give him now is to celebrate life with him while he is here and help him pass on to wherever he is headed shrouded in love and gratitude and good energy. I'll be a mess when it hits me and I will miss him so much, but deep down I have never seen death as something horrible in and of itself. All we can do in the face of death - the great force that trumps us all - is to try to be brave and meet it with a smiling heart. We can't control the grief we feel and repressing it doesn't always help. But trying to see death and birth as two parts of the same great mystery is really helping me to frame this as something I can deal with. I wish all of you who are going through this love amidst the pain, strength inside your anguish, and light inside the dark.