Hello there. My mum has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.  My hearts totally shattered to be told she has less than a year left when shes all i have.  You're dad will always be looking down on you watching over you.  Remember the good times yous had the memories.  Sorry i aint much help try and remember the good times yous had he will be looking down on you proud of his daughter. X 

Hello there, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad. I thought I would reply as our circumstances are very similar, however I am 1 year further down the road than you are. My dad died from pancreatic cancer 5 weeks after he was diagnosed, and like you, we had a wonderful relationship. I too find it hard with my friends as no one has gone through it before so I feel very cut off from them.  I wish I could you that a year later I feel better but the truth is honestly for me, I miss him just as much as I did a year ago. But what I will say is you will learn to live with the pain. But it takes time - we are so sad because it equals the love we have for them and that never goes away. I don't know how old you are but I find that most of the time when I want dads advice, I can usually figure out what he would have said to me and that in a way makes me feel better and closer to him.

Be kind to yourself and just try to take it not even day but day, but hour by hour. This is one of the hardest things to go through - I tell myself that if dad could be brave and strong I can try and be that way in his honour. 

Hello 

I am so sorry that  you are missing your Dad .

All  I can say to give you some comfort is that we are going though the same pain .

My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer end of March,  he survived  4 months .

Our  daughter is 17 years and is trying to be strong like her Dad , 

She is keeping busy with work to cope and get on with her life even though she  is missing him so much .
It helps to chat about her  Dad  and think what he would say or do and laugh at the funny things he did .

She will miss all the milestones like you but knows he is with her in all the things he showed her and taught her from being a little girl .

i am sure your Dad was very  proud of you and

there are so many memories for you to remember and look back on and smile when things are tough .

Take care and be strong. 

Ksg 

Hi Ksg

would be nice to message you as I am going through the same thing my daughter is 16 and going to turn 17 at the end of this month.  My husband passed away from unexpected lung cancer last September and we just seem to be getting on with life .  It still doesn’t feel real  we don’t really talk much about her dad as I think we just we worry we will get too upset it’s just so hard.  We had been together 26year and were very much in love.  How are you coping and with you and your daughter ? 

Victoria 

Hello Victoria

 thank you for your message .

I am so sorry to hear about your loss

It must be hard coping on your own without  your husband to support you bring up your daughter .

i am definitely feeling it .

It is going to be difficult for your daughter with her first 

birthday without Dad. 

My daughter had a meltdown recently doing too much 

working part time and juggling college too ,she's insistent she wants to ,just to keep busy so she doesn't have to come home to a house without Dad . 
I couldn't say anything to help  just cried .
 Lately I've found photos of them together when she was little which has made her smile and think about the good times .

We can talk about him which I'm grateful for and have a laugh about the funny things he said and did .

She was keeping it all bottled up till the meltdown so now I think she feels better for letting out anger and grief .

Her tutors have been understanding and are there for her to talk to , I wonder if there is any tutor or other adult your daughter is able to talk to ? 
We were together for 33 yrs so like you I'm finding it really hard without him , just feel numb and keep busy to get through the day .

take care 

ksg 

Hi Ksg

thanks for replying to my post.  It’s nice to have someone to talk to that’s truly knows what we are going through.  I have a son too that is on his second year of uni which is not far from me .  He is doing really well and I think we are coping in our own way .  He was very close to his dad too.  My daughter has started college and really enjoying it I think we all have positivity in us some how well the kids have inherited this from their dad as he was alway positive and was positive he was going to get through the cancer but luck was not on our side .  We never dreamt that we would be dealing with this as my husband was a fit and health 54yrs old  man alway looked after himself. He gave up smoking when he met me 26yrs ago and ironically got lung cancer! It’s like a stab in the back especially when his two other brothers smoke ! He was diagnosed in the June 2019 and passed away in September 2019 Life is so unfair.  We have been through our first of everything and somehow you do get through it . We are lucky that we all have amazing family and friends around us but it’s time like today when my daughter was home as not feeling well and while I’m at work I just worry if something  happens to her and you haven’t got that second person there for you to help.  Yours is still early days but you will get through times it’s like a roller coaster isn’t it.  Have you got people around you ? How are you coping ? It’s my daughters 17th on Saturday so hoping it will be a better one.  We did get a puppy not long after he passed away and she has been amazing for us well especially me as she sleeps with me.  

Hope to hear from you again 

Victoria