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Getting used to life without dad

Matella.
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Hi everyone,

this is my first post on here. 
 

I'm 23 and have just lost my 61 year old dad to a short but painless battle with pancreatic cancer. He had a blood clot which was causing him pain so he had a CT scan which showed he had stage four pancreatic cancer that had spread to his liver, spleen and lymph nodes. From the CT scan to his passing it was only eight weeks. 
I am really struggling to get by everyday without my dad, I miss him so much and really don't know how I am going to carry on my life without him. He always said to me that he'll be on his cloud watching me but I want to be on his cloud with him, I honestly feel like my heart has been shattered. My dad was taken from me at such a young age, he will never see his grandchildren, never be called grandad, never walk me down the aisle and all this kills me, I just don't know how to cope anymore. I was always very close with my dad and I really feel like I took him for granted.. there are so many things I want to ask him, say to him and take advice from him. I just feel so lost. I have no friends that have lost their parent, all my friends compare it to losing their grandparent but for me it's so different that it's my dad that he gone. I miss him so much and I love him so much. I'm just rambling now but has anyone got any advice for me? Please? Thank you x

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    Hello there, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad. I thought I would reply as our circumstances are very similar, however I am 1 year further down the road than you are. My dad died from pancreatic cancer 5 weeks after he was diagnosed, and like you, we had a wonderful relationship. I too find it hard with my friends as no one has gone through it before so I feel very cut off from them.  I wish I could you that a year later I feel better but the truth is honestly for me, I miss him just as much as I did a year ago. But what I will say is you will learn to live with the pain. But it takes time - we are so sad because it equals the love we have for them and that never goes away. I don't know how old you are but I find that most of the time when I want dads advice, I can usually figure out what he would have said to me and that in a way makes me feel better and closer to him.

     

    Be kind to yourself and just try to take it not even day but day, but hour by hour. This is one of the hardest things to go through - I tell myself that if dad could be brave and strong I can try and be that way in his honour. 

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    Hello there, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad. I thought I would reply as our circumstances are very similar, however I am 1 year further down the road than you are. My dad died from pancreatic cancer 5 weeks after he was diagnosed, and like you, we had a wonderful relationship. I too find it hard with my friends as no one has gone through it before so I feel very cut off from them.  I wish I could you that a year later I feel better but the truth is honestly for me, I miss him just as much as I did a year ago. But what I will say is you will learn to live with the pain. But it takes time - we are so sad because it equals the love we have for them and that never goes away. I don't know how old you are but I find that most of the time when I want dads advice, I can usually figure out what he would have said to me and that in a way makes me feel better and closer to him.

     

    Be kind to yourself and just try to take it not even day but day, but hour by hour. This is one of the hardest things to go through - I tell myself that if dad could be brave and strong I can try and be that way in his honour. 

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