I really do understand, I feel exactly the same, I go to bed each night and I don't want to wake up. I feel I got nothing to look forward to, it really is a horrible feeling, my stomach churns constantly, I hate coming back to a empty cold house, I go to bed early. I know I am having a rant but I need to as well. It's such a difficult time,I feel we are just forgotten. 

I know I need to talk to someone, just have not the courage yet, you are further along than me, well just 6 months. And you are right my husband would not like me being as I am now, but I miss him so much. I had a glass of wine and chocolate tonight, we both used to enjoy our glass of wine. Some days are better than others, I hate the uncertainty of my future, which does frighten me. I just hope I get a little stronger, you are doing pretty well, I know we have to give ourselves time, but we will never forget our husbands.

karen.x

I think we are forgotten I no how your feeling home alone  cold empty house  even though I have to boys I feel the same I hate it  want to talk  please don't take this the wrong way but if you were at my house we could talk and feel like someone is  supporting you who understands what to say 

Totally agree, we really have been forgotten, they don't realise what we are going through, it really is torture. It would be so nice to talk to you, we have not been able to express our feelings and thoughts. With this pandemic I don't like to bother doctors, but this forum is helpful, at least we all now what we are going through, a bit of support is a great help for us all. I know we can't change things, but knowing I am not the only one going through this terrible grief. 

I think that's a the point talking to people who have lost loved one through cancer or COVID or any horrible disease for that matter! I no my wife would be so happy that I'm talking to people like yourselves  about all this especially cancer  we talked 7 years about cancer at leat her cancer died when she did   So f---you cancer you lost to.

Hope your ok ?