Hello, just been reading your post, I lost my husband June 2020, every day is a challenge. I hate feeling so scared all the time. Like you I have not sorted any clothes yet, can not do it yet. It is so difficult to ge5 through each day, I really do my best, but not being able to meet up with friends or meet and talk to people who are in this same situation. I see you have two children, they must keep in busy, our children are all grown up, but very helpful. I just hate this horrid feeling that is inside me. I do find this forum helpful, knowing others understand what we are all experiencing. Look after yourself. 

Hi

Thank you for your reply.  Time has moved on since that last message .  I have sorted his clothes I bought those vacuum bags and packed them all away in a suit case.  I have put a few in the draws under my bed . I have put a desk there in place of the wardrobe.  Just need to repaint the bedroom.  My puppy well she is 16months now has been amazing for me such a distraction love her to bits .  My children well young adults are great company too but one has a girlfriend so is with her lots and my daughter just likes to hang about in her bedroom. I find putting the radio on is good and asking Alexa to play some chilli out songs is good too.  I’m just starting to clear out our loft which is full! That’s quite a hard one to do as full of memories old photos, clothes, his artwork,books and records.  He collected records so lots in the house too, makes me want to cry when I think about his record collection as these were his pride and joy .  How I used to moan when he would play something (how I would wish for this again ) think it is really tough though for us people going through grief with covid around it stops you from moving on and not being able to see people inside your house is tough. You take care too 

Victoria x

I'm the same as you I can't do anything with my wife stuff  but it's only been a few weeks  I really don't ever think are be able to sort her stuff  even silly things like sorting out her underwear will break me  as I've seen her I'm them i million times  what I'd give to see her one more time  and to tell me she is ok 

I can imagine how you are feeling, sorting out clothes and underwear is awful, do it when you feel a little stronger. Nobody knows how difficult grief is until it happens to you. With what's going on with the pandemic we can not speak to others in the same situation, which is really what would help so much, instead we suffering in silence. I miss my husband and best friend so much. I know we are not the only ones, but I really feel forgotten, and we have to get through this without any help. Please try and stay strong, I am sure your wife is watching over you.

I'm really struggling  I can't lie any more this is the worst thing ever to happen to me my wife did not deserve to die she never wanted to leave us all behind  but it's happened  and I'm alone  I hate my new life  can't stand it I'm sorry for the rant   But I'm so broken  miss everything about her 

I did start seeing a therapist but this was back in early March just before first lock down .  Such a shame as it took a lot of courage to do this and only went twice. I now enjoy my wine, chocolate and watch a series sitting on my bed .  This will happen it just takes time you have to do this to be kind to yourself.  I love my dog so much she gives me lots of love .  I miss my husband so much he was just an amazing husband and dad.  I try not to think too much about what has happened as I know this could be a dark black hole and I know he wouldn’t want me to do that .  He would want me to try and enjoy being alive hard to do I know but this is what gets me through my day. I do wonder if one day I would just break down with realisation but I don’t want this for me and my children’s sake . Keep safe

Victoria x

I really do understand, I feel exactly the same, I go to bed each night and I don't want to wake up. I feel I got nothing to look forward to, it really is a horrible feeling, my stomach churns constantly, I hate coming back to a empty cold house, I go to bed early. I know I am having a rant but I need to as well. It's such a difficult time,I feel we are just forgotten. 

I know I need to talk to someone, just have not the courage yet, you are further along than me, well just 6 months. And you are right my husband would not like me being as I am now, but I miss him so much. I had a glass of wine and chocolate tonight, we both used to enjoy our glass of wine. Some days are better than others, I hate the uncertainty of my future, which does frighten me. I just hope I get a little stronger, you are doing pretty well, I know we have to give ourselves time, but we will never forget our husbands.

karen.x

I think we are forgotten I no how your feeling home alone  cold empty house  even though I have to boys I feel the same I hate it  want to talk  please don't take this the wrong way but if you were at my house we could talk and feel like someone is  supporting you who understands what to say 

Totally agree, we really have been forgotten, they don't realise what we are going through, it really is torture. It would be so nice to talk to you, we have not been able to express our feelings and thoughts. With this pandemic I don't like to bother doctors, but this forum is helpful, at least we all now what we are going through, a bit of support is a great help for us all. I know we can't change things, but knowing I am not the only one going through this terrible grief. 

I think that's a the point talking to people who have lost loved one through cancer or COVID or any horrible disease for that matter! I no my wife would be so happy that I'm talking to people like yourselves  about all this especially cancer  we talked 7 years about cancer at leat her cancer died when she did   So f---you cancer you lost to.

Hope your ok ?

Hope your ok ?