It took me a while but I'm finally reaching out.
My mom was diagnosed with stage 3c ovarian cancer in 2015. Up until now, it's been stable and she's been able to live her life almost normally. This January, she took a sudden turn and has been declining ever since. The doctors say that the cancer hasn't reached her lungs of any distant body parts, but they consider her terminal. She's currently on a break from chemo and will be going back on in a few weeks. I'm terrified. I'm 18 and an only child. My mom is my best friend. I don't know how I can cope when she dies. I'm afraid I'll have to drop out of school. I've been self harming for about a year now in a lame attempt to cope. I feel so alone. My family keeps getting annoyed with me either for asking too many questions or for not doing enough. When they're not annoyed with me they try to insist that they're going through the same thing, but they're really not. I'm losing my mom, they're just losing another relative. I know that sounds really selfish but it's how I feel. I'm so annoyed that I'll never be able to see her at my wedding or my graduation. I'm so heartbroken that I won't be able to look towards her for advice again. I'm thinking that maybe I could have coped better if I was at least older but I'm losing her before my life even got a chance to begin. I don't know what to do. I feel so tired and alone all the time. How do I cope?
