Hello snowbirdieinc
I'm so very sorry to hear about your Mum. I'm glad that you've reached out for help. It can be very difficult when a loved one is diagnosed with cancer and for you to dealing with your Mum's diagnosis and treatment at a young age is even more difficult. 

Have you spoken to your GP about how you're struggling and the self harm? If not then please do make an appointment to speak to someone at the surgery so that they can give you some support.

I'm sure that not being in school the past few months hasn't helped either but presumably you'll be starting again in the next few weeks. If there's a member of staff at school that you trust then let them know what's been going on at home with Mum and that you need some support. The school will have access to counselling and pastoral support to help you with your emotions but also to support you with your studies. 

I also wanted to let you know about a website called RipRap that is for teenagers who have a parent with cancer. It might be an idea to have a look at the site and their forum as you may be able to connect with other young people in a similar situation. 

There is always some available for you to speak to at The Samaritans. They are available 24/7 to talk to as well as being available to offer support via email. 

Cancer can leave patients and loved ones feeling very lonely but there is lots of support available out there. You've taken the first step in asking for help by posting here on the forum and I know you're brave enough to take the next steps to speak to your GP and school. 

Sending best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator

Hi Jen,

Thanks for the response. I think my age is a large factor in my grief. I feel as though I'm losing my youth and my mother prematurely. I wish I could say goodbye to her in 40 years after she met her grandchildren instead of now. 
 

I've brushed over my self harm briefly with my GP but I'm reluctant to go into detail because it's too difficult to talk about. I'm trying to quit by myself at the moment, even if it's probably not advised. 
 

If I was going back to school, I probably wouldn't be so scared but I'm starting my first year in college this October and I'm hoping to study law, which is known to be stressful. I'll look into whatever resources they have at my campus though, hopefully.

Also, thank you for the resources. RipRap seems really helpful. I only wish I had known about this forum sooner, haha.

best regards!

Hi, I'm really sorry to hear about your mum. I lost my mum to cancer when I was 16, and it is definitely super tough to deal with. My mum was also my best friend. My advice would be to make as many good memories with your mum as you can.

I also struggled with mental health issues and self-harming after my mum died. She died pretty quickly after she was diagnosed, so I can't claim to know exactly what you're feeling with this more extended period of a terminal diagnosis. But I didn't have to drop out of school, if that helps, and your school should be able to provide you with support and any considerations/adjustments that you need. It's also okay to take time out if that is what you need.

It can't be helpful that your family are getting annoyed at you- I think unfortunately this situation can bring out negative reactions to others because we've all got these difficult feelings inside but it can be super hard to be vulnerable and properly discuss them with family. If you have friends that you can talk to, or maybe a teacher you like, maybe try to talk this through with them- basically get as much support as you can. My family got support from Macmillan that I wasn't ready for at the time, but it did help my Dad and siblings.