I know all those feeling, I lost my husband in June, and like you miss him so much, empty house, just wandering around lost. Going to bed just means another day over, and not looking forward to the next day, it's so difficult, nobody knows until it happens to you. I try to keep busy, but you can't all the time. It's so lonely and quiet. 

Thankyou for all your replies. I tried Cruse, just cried the whole phone call then cried for another two days, Day and night, I have bags under my eyes I could carry shopping in, it didn't work for me. Doctor just wants to give me depression tablets, which I don't want to take because I know they will become a psycological crufch I won't be able to do without.  Gtp - sorry for your loss, you must have been very close, I lost my parents a long, long time ago but I still remember those feelings. Camarthenshere - My husband loved music he played the guitar and the house was filled with music all the time, they say put the radio on to stop the silence but every song has a memory.  Its hard to stay busy, my children left 10yrs ago, they are supportive and are also grieving but they have their lives to get on with, I feel I don't have that anymore. No life. My daughter says I bring her Dad into every conversation, and I do, I can't help it. 'Your Dad and I went there' 'Your Dad would have loved this' Your Dad wanted one of those'. She's not saying it in a horrible way, just that she already knows these things. But he was everything to me, every fibre in my body, I never did anything or made a decision without him. Before the same conversations would have  been 'Your Dad and I are thinking of going there'  'Wait till I tell you Dad he'll love this' Don't tell your Dad he'll want one'. I can't help talking about him and I want them to aswell. He isn't dead to me, I'm just waiting for him to come home

Thankyou for all your replies. I tried Cruse, just cried the whole phone call then cried for another two days, Day and night, I have bags under my eyes I could carry shopping in, it didn't work for me. Doctor just wants to give me depression tablets, which I don't want to take because I know they will become a psycological crufch I won't be able to do without.  Gtp - sorry for your loss, you must have been very close, I lost my parents a long, long time ago but I still remember those feelings. Camarthenshere - My husband loved music he played the guitar and the house was filled with music all the time, they say put the radio on to stop the silence but every song has a memory.  Its hard to stay busy, my children left 10yrs ago, they are supportive and are also grieving but they have their lives to get on with, I feel I don't have that anymore. No life. My daughter says I bring her Dad into every conversation, and I do, I can't help it. 'Your Dad and I went there' 'Your Dad would have loved this' Your Dad wanted one of those'. She's not saying it in a horrible way, just that she already knows these things. But he was everything to me, every fibre in my body, I never did anything or made a decision without him. Before the same conversations would have  been 'Your Dad and I are thinking of going there'  'Wait till I tell you Dad he'll love this' Don't tell your Dad he'll want one'. I can't help talking about him and I want them to aswell. He isn't dead to me, I'm just waiting for him to come home

Totally agree with everything you say, we were a fantastic partnership, when you've been together for 35years, it's like part of you has died. It's such a strange feeling, it's a huge loss, nobody there when you come into the house. I don't want to go down the road of anti depressants, I am trying to be strong, I find exercise helps me, but still coming home to a empty house. I just miss my lovely husband so much. 

carmarthenshire - We were married 34 yrs, courted for over 6yrs before that. It's a long time, just like you. I don't know what to do anymore, he was my guiding light, I am more a pessimist whereas he was an optimist, he kept me up, gave me a reason, looked forward, made me laugh and the world was so bright. That's gone, the world is dark. I really don't want to be a part of it anymore, it holds no joy for me, no light at the end of the tunnel, just emptyness.  Nearly 9 months and it gets harder every day. They say it gets easier, but I already know it won't.

Hotpot, I understand everything you say, part of me has died, we were just so compatible, like you say he made my world bright, always calmed me down, and everything was fine, now it's so lonely, just a huge void in my life. But please try and be strong, I am sure he wouldn't like to see you like this, I know it's so difficult, it's early days for me, and it's been a huge shock. I am just taking a day at a time. Please take care. 

My hubby off 33 years died a week ago.

i know life will never be the same .

i just keep thinking he will come back x

This disease is hell xx 

Hi all,

Never posted on anything like this before but here goes... I lost my husband of 30 years a week before lockdown. He was the love of my life, my best friend, my rock and everything else you guys have said our husbands can be. The rollercoaster of grief is immense and I don't think anyone can even vaguely appreciate what it's like until they go through it. 

Friends and family have been amazing, counselling has really helped me but reading your stories makes me feel less alone...Thank you xxx