Hi everyone,
I am posting as I lost my father yesterday and it has been the longest and most painful 24hours I have ever experienced. My father recently took ill- coughing and breathless. He got an antibiotic off the doctor for a chest infection but it didn't work. We ended up at a covid assessment centre, where the doctors didn't think he had coronavirus but something worse so he went straight to A&E where they said he had pneumonia. He was only hospitalised for 3 days and then discharged. 5 days later he was back in hospital with severe lack of oxegen and breathing difficulties. They said the pneumonia had spread from looking at an x ray but upon doing a CT scan discovered he had a shadow on his lungs. He also had lots of fluid surrounding his lungs and heart. Two weeks to the day he was admitted, we found out it was small cell lung cancer. I was visiting him that night in hospital and left at 9pm. Less than 4 hours later I got a call to say my father was having a bad turn and needed to urgently get up to the hospital.I got up to the hospital and waited in a room to then be told by a Doctor that his heart stopped beating and they could not revive him. I stayed with him to 5am and found it so difficult to leave him there knowing that this was it.
I feel like a dagger is sticking in my heart. I can't believe that just two weeks ago he was alive and now I am planning his funeral. I cant bear the thought that I am never going to see or hear his voice again. I spoke to him everyday (sometimes several times). I am constantly crying, upset and can't think of anything else. I feel so lost and alone.
Please if anyone could give me some advise on how to get through this.
Thanks,
Emma
