On Sunday 12th July, my beautiful, courageous Mum lost her battle with brain cancer. She was being nursed at home by my Dad, myself and my brother and sister. A care team also came in throughout the day. We were fortunate enough to have her home and were able to spend precious time with her and tell her how much we loved her. Her passing was difficult, but we were all stood with her and I held her hand. I had always wanted to share a concert dvd with her when she was home, but I knew it would be too difficult, as  the songs would make me cry. When Mum was in her final hours we played it for her, so that she had a peaceful, calm environment and we dimmed the lights. 
I am truly heartbroken. My love for her was and is unconditional, She meant everything to me, I have kept myself busy the last two weeks, arranging Mum's funeral, which was yesterday. It went perfectly and the sun shone brightly ithrough the chapel window.

Everyone thinks that I am coping tremendously well, as I appear outwardly to be strong. I feel like I have been grieving since the day I was told of Mum's terminal diagnosis. My husband has told me to stay in bed all day today and rest. I know Mum would want me to carry on and live my life, but I honestly feel like part of me died two weeks ago too. I also lost my Grandma three years ago on the 13th July 2017. I knew Grandma would come for Mum. They were both the most inspirational women I have ever known. I'm lucky enough to be at home for the next four weeks, so I have time to grieve. Does it ever get easier? I feel like I've become a different person. I'm just trying to make sense of the situation. I have no anger, I do believe Mum was needed elsewhere. She knew how much I loved her and I'd like to think I made her life happy and made her proud. 
Would appreciate any advice on how to cope through these early days, or if someone else is experiencing a recent loss, 

Thank you in advance ️
Sarah x