Hi,

Sorry for your loss. When my Dad passed almost 3 years ago, my Brother and I decided we would like to go to the chapel of rest even though as a family we had all been with my Dad during his passing.

I was glad I went. He looked so peaceful and more youthful and dressed in his favourite clothing.

Initially we felt nervous, but then after some emotion we spoke to him and my Brother and I shared happy memories. I placed a flower in Dads hand and kissed him and told him again how I loved him. I think it helped me because after nursing him and seeing him in pain it gave us comfort he was at peace. It is entirely your decision what feels right for you.

Dona x

Sorry for your loss. I lost my dad just under two weeks ago and had not been able to visit him for the few days leading up to and including his passing, due to him being in the hospital, and that was a horrendous thing for me as we were so close. Afterwards, I went to see him three times at the undertakers. It was lovely to see him finally at peace and I know I had that time to be with him and that brings me great comfort now. 

If you have not been to see someone lying at rest before, please believe me, it is not frightening... it can be a bit surreal at first, but not scary. People just look like they are asleep. You will probably cry, I did, but for me I also found it very calming and reassuring to know he was no longer suffering. It gives you time to say goodbye. You can take also something to place in the coffin. I took a letter and some flowers, which was very comforting for me. If you have the choice, I really would encourage you to try and go, you may regret not going later. You could always go and ask the undertaker to go in with you, for support. Ours was so understanding and supportive. Best wishes.

I went to see my dad.  I sat and talked to him for an hour and left him a poem and a photograph.   He didn't look exactly like himself, but I wasn't expecting him to as I remember my grandparents and mum not either.  If you feel you can,  it is a chance that you don't ever get again, especially if you were close.   And I didn't like to think of him in there alone with no visitors X

Thank you for sharing this. So glad you had that special time together and chance to say goodbye personally. I am not so good at saying goodbye. X

I was wondering how you are and if you went to visit your dad at the chapel of rest or not. I hope you are okay and just wanted to add, for anyone else who reads this and is wondering whether to go or not, that six weeks down the line I am still glad I went to see my dad. When I am in one of my sad, inconsolable  moments I am able to picture him and remind myself that he was finally at peace. It still brings me a lot of comfort. 

Hi,

Yes I did decide to go and see him at the chapel of rest and I am so glad that I did. I had already told myself that he might not look exactly like I was used to and prepared myself for the worst. He looked exactly like he was sleeping and I spent quite a while there with him just chatting to him. I like to think he was there too just listening to me talk my usual rubbish. I am doing okay for the most part, I still don't think it has fully sunken in that he has gone just yet and not sure if it ever really does. I hope you're okay too! You're advice of your own experience really helped so thank you!

When my parents died a few years apart I did go to see them, and I think it helped a lot. If you want to take something short to read by them you may find it helps. It did for me.