Flippin heck! nearly 4 years after dads terminal diagnosis the cancer finally won. I cant describe how much i hate what this disease did to my dad.
About dad, he was a great bloke, the kind of freind you could count on, compassionate, caring, understanding, whity, loving, i dont want to gush as he was understated.
When dad got his diagnosis, there was no panic from him, i remember having a conversation, we where picking damsons in my garden.
"dad what do i need to do when your gone"
"dont worry son, it will be sorted"
"dad i need to help"
"son dont worry"
Dad took his treatment with no complaints, i remember writing a piece in school about my hero, at the time Nick Faldo the golfer, he had reinvented himself and had got back to winning form. He was my hero..... My oppinion changed watching dad.
At the end dads passing came quickly, he was in my garden with my 3 brothers, wives and grandchildren 1 week before he passed. he drove that day (absolute legend).
i have a freind who is a end of life care professional, she guided us through and enabled dad to pass at home with his family, i owe her an insumountable debt.
Dads last week was somthing i can never forget, horror, realisation, love, laughter, helplessness, practicality where just some of the feelings i experienced.
Friday night 18hours before dad died we had a drink together, dad fancied a G&T (none of that feavertree rubbish)
he died at 16.55 on the following day, it was a blessing, we all told him to stop fighting.
So 6 weeks later mum is being stowic, they had 54 years together and mum is a bit lost. i carry on as i am sure my brothers do. We look after mum.
As promised dad had all his affairs in order.
I picked dads ashes up last week we drove round for a while listening to the archers (one of his favorites).
Thats where i am now, i miss him so much, i know i am lucky to have had him guide me for 44 years. i miss talking to him. seeing dad endure the pain he went through, i am glad he is at piece.
love you dad
Panda (dont ask!)
