We lost dad

Flippin heck! nearly 4 years after dads terminal diagnosis the cancer finally won. I cant describe how much i hate what this disease did to my dad.

About dad, he was a great bloke, the kind of freind you could count on, compassionate, caring, understanding, whity, loving, i dont want to gush as he was understated.

When dad got his diagnosis, there was no panic from him, i remember having a conversation, we where picking damsons in my garden.

"dad what do i need to do when your gone"

"dont worry son, it will be sorted"

"dad i need to help"

"son dont worry" 

Dad took his treatment with no complaints, i remember writing a piece in school about my hero, at the time Nick Faldo the golfer, he had reinvented himself and had got back to winning form. He was my hero..... My oppinion changed watching dad.

At the end dads passing came quickly, he was in my garden with my 3 brothers, wives and grandchildren 1 week before he passed. he drove that day (absolute legend).

i have a freind who is a end of life care professional, she guided us through and enabled dad to pass at home with his family, i owe her an insumountable debt.

Dads last week was somthing i can never forget, horror, realisation, love, laughter, helplessness, practicality where just some of the feelings i experienced.  

Friday night 18hours before dad died we had a drink together, dad fancied a G&T (none of that feavertree rubbish)

he died at 16.55 on the following day, it was a blessing, we all told him to stop fighting.

So 6 weeks later mum is being stowic, they had 54 years together and  mum is a bit lost. i carry on as i am sure my brothers do. We look after mum.

As promised dad had all his affairs in order.

I picked dads ashes up last week we drove round for a while listening to the archers (one of his favorites).

Thats where i am now, i miss him so much, i know i am lucky to have had him guide me for 44 years. i miss talking to him. seeing dad endure the pain he went through, i am glad he is at piece.

love you dad

Panda (dont ask!) 

  • So sorry for your loss of your Dad. I understand as I lost my Dad nearly 3 years now. You sound like a loving family and your Dad felt loved. He is at peace until you reunite with him...at least that is how I believe. The missing is the hardest, and it get's a bit easier. It helps by talking about your Dad as a family and about all the happy memories you shared. My mam was also married 60 years..so happy..she always looks at photos of him with me and my sister. I wish you every peace and strength to you all. Just speak to him as you would, he will be listening. x

     

     

  • I miss mine too, he didn't tell me about his diagnosis, I found out in A&E a few days before he died.  He went through it all alone for a year, that broke my heart, as we lost mum a couple of years previously. That's dad's for you xxx