Newly alone

Hello everyone.  My name is Gill and my husband; my soulmate, died at the end of April 2020.  

I have been feeling so alone (not lonely) everhl since the death of my husband, but reading about what you are all going through, has made me even more aware of how cruel cancer in all its forms can be.

My husband and I had known each other for nearly 60 years.  We first met when I was 16 and he was 20. We went out a few times, but he just wasn't ready for a long term relationship.  So we went our separate ways and lost touch.  
I married and raised a family, but my marriage didn't last and the first thing I did when I was in the area where he worked, I plucked up the courage to call to see him.  And, I was overjoyed to find out that he was not married and never had been. We saw each other as often as we could and five years later we were married.  I can honestly say, it was the happiest day of my life.  No fuss; just two witnesses and the two of us. And that's how it would be for the next 35 years, apart from a few special friends and family.  We happily lived in our little bubble, until we were given the dreaded C diagnosis 18 months ago.  We were devastated of course, but we agreed to make the most of every day.   We cried a lot, but we also laughed a lot. We were strong; we didn't need anyone else in our bubble. I looked after my wonderful husband for about 10 days before he finally had to go into hospital. 3 days later, I had lost the love of my life.

I have never posted on a forum before, so I hope this isn't too much.  It's the first time I've really been able to express how I feel.  Lost;  bewildered; and so sad.

 

Thank you.

  • Hello Gill. 

    I'm so sorry to hear about the recent loss of your husband. I'm glad that you found the courage to post here on the forum. We have a number of active members here who are currently in similar situations and will understand how you are feeling. Hopefully it will help you to not feel so alone in your journey with grief. 

    I'm gonig to suggest that you have a read through this thread and if you feel that you'd like to then do post a reply to introduce yourself. I'm sure that the folks on that thread will reply to offer their words of support and advice. 

    I hope that this helps. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator

  • Hi Gill, 

    Just read your Post, great that you two found each other again!! 

    I am in the same position has you.

    I lost my husband in June, we had known for a year he was terminal with cancer, its horrific.

    We had been married for nearly 37 years, got married at 19 and 20.

    I  feel completley lost with out him and very lonely on a evening.

    Trying to keep busy through day but hate tea time and evening. 

    We have no other option to carry on even tho we are heartbroken its terrible. I

    I have been trying to find groups to meet people in the same position but there isnt any. 

    Take care

    Debbie