Hi there ...

So so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... I think it's the second hardest thing we go through... second only to loosing a child.... 

My mum died suddenly from a heart attack and I had no chance to even tell her I was so proud to be her daughter.... we chatted one Monday morning on the phone about her comming up mine tomorrow... then at 5.20 that afternoon she was gone ... she was our world ... and the most wonderful nanny to my boys ... I was only 36 ... We never had tomorrow...   : ((

So all I can say to you, is hold on to every day you have with her ... say all what's in your heart.... listen to her, and hold her hand ... and make every second count .... what I'd have given for just one day .. or even one hour .... you had what I didn't... sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie x

Thanks Chrissie, I understand some people are taken from us with no warning, I'm sad to hear about your Mum. Not having the chance to say those loving words is so painful. On the flip side yes I've had chances to tell Mam how much I love her and I know I need to be grateful for that. But the suffering she has been and is bearing is so great that it almost doesn't help. I've been telling her she is the best Mam in the world because she really is to me of course, and other things but she's always said no don't say that. I don't even know if it's modesty or fear that I'm trying to have end conversations as Mam has never wanted to know she is dying

Thanks for taking the time to reply xxx

Thanks Chrissie, I understand some people are taken from us with no warning, I'm sad to hear about your Mum. Not having the chance to say those loving words is so painful. On the flip side yes I've had chances to tell Mam how much I love her and I know I need to be grateful for that. But the suffering she has been and is bearing is so great that it almost doesn't help. I've been telling her she is the best Mam in the world because she really is to me of course, and other things but she's always said no don't say that. I don't even know if it's modesty or fear that I'm trying to have end conversations as Mam has never wanted to know she is dying

Thanks for taking the time to reply xxx

Hi ...

Yea I know ... neather is a better way really ... what your going through now is so heartbraking...

I've had breast cancer ... a grade 3 ... and to be honest, I'm a bit like her, just want to take every day .. and the thought of my son and granddaughter hurting is overwhelming... I don't talk about things either .. 

But I have told them, I'll come back and kick their bums if I see them too sad for too long ... I want them to miss me, but I want to hear them laugh too ... so I've been on both ends ,.. just do what you can, and know your not super woman ... your just human ... be kind to your self ... your doing the best you can ..

And if you let her lead the way ... I'm sure she may start opening up ... Chrissie xx 

Thank you Chrissie, I can see you've had your struggles and you sound very wise with it. I understand Your feelings that you will want to be missed but also for your family to have happiness. I hope you are really well now.

Thank you for your kind words.

Nurses and people talk all the time about making Mam comfortable but it's hard to want that because comfortable just means her dying. And she still so wants to live. 

I wish I'd asked advice here a little earlier as over past 24 hours Mam is now "out of it". I can still tell her I love her and thank her but now she can't say anything back not really conscious at all.

But your words are a help and I will try to listen to them.

Best wishes to you xxx