I lost my mum at 6.15pm on 14th August 2019.
In 1 weeks time, I will turn 30
In 2 weeks time, my mum would have turned 55
In 3 weeks time, it should have been my wedding day
In 6 weeks time, it has been a year since she died.
A YEAR?!
I'd never written on any forum about losing my mum until this afternoon. I was scrolling through my Facebook page this morning and a video showed a bride walking down the aisle to Canon in D, which is my wedding song. I started thinking about my wedding, and it hit me again that she wouldn't be there with me. I just totally lost it, started having a panic attack and sat in the shower crying.
I hate the guilt that totally overwhelms me and the negative memories that haunt me. My 30th birthday is just around the corner and it will be my first birthday without her and my first milestone as well.
My anxiety is huge at the moment, and I don't know how to enjoy my birthday without her
Many of our members know how difficult those 'firsts' can be after a loved one has passed so I'm sure some of them will be along soon to offer their support and advice but in the meantime I just wanted to let you know that we're thinking of you and sending strength and virtual hugs your way.
Many of our members know how difficult those 'firsts' can be after a loved one has passed so I'm sure some of them will be along soon to offer their support and advice but in the meantime I just wanted to let you know that we're thinking of you and sending strength and virtual hugs your way.
