It's horrendous. I'm also very sorry that you're having to go through it too. If ever my mind gets close to realising what's happened, I feel close to a complete nervous breakdown. Wishing you strength

My Dad, who was my best friend and soul mate, passed away from cancer 2004. Since then I don't feel happiness or joy like I used to. I dont get pleasure from my experiences as I should. Life is not the same since he passed away and my broken heart has never mended. I thought having a child would keep some part of him alive... I was wrong! No one can replace him and today I have shed many tears over just looking at his photo. 

My one consolation is that he was mine and he knew unconditional love and that being with me made him happy. 

Love you Dad x

[@bras1548]‍ 

I lost my father four months ago, and I feel exactly the same things as you mentioned...

I cannot imagine how I will live without my father... I cannot speak with other persons, nor family members at all... 

I've already had depression before and losing my father even complicates all these issues.

Since I was very little child I felt very close to my father, I cannot explain why... and even later it was the same 

I think very often on what can I do in order to be together again with my father?

How your days looks like between all these feelings?

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It's awful. When one person is your whole world and you lose that person (it feels as if) you've lost the whole world. I'm glad you find some consolation

Like you, I often think about how I could be with my dad again. Without my dad, with these feelings, days look grey (at best) and black (at worst). My father brought the light. Without him there is no light. And I don't WANT any other light than my father's, anyway

hi i lost my dad 3yrs coming up . i was told 5 days before i got married he had terminal cancer. my wedding was one of the hardest days to get through as  he was in hospital . i came off my honeymoon and slept at my dads bedside as he deteriated day by day. i asked my dad if he could come back to me please try. my dad was the most precious caring kind loving man ive ever knew . my dad was my world he was everthing to me. he died 10 days after i got married. i cant ever be happy on my anniversary. i cant believe how much i miss him knowing i wont see him again. im a firm believer of life after death and i have seen my dad twice in my dreams when recently i was ill. he held my hand and told me it was not my time to go with him and he would always be beside me then he gave me messages to pass on to my mum and brother. i feel a bit relieved knowing hes with me but my heart aches because he was my world. people say you will get over it but i know i will carry the pain of loosing him always in my heart .

It's the same for me... I hardly manage to work (and only at a minimal level), I can't do anything else... I cannot watch a film, nor a football game, because we did this kind of stuff together with my father, and then we have discussed a lot on it... and I don't want and I'm not able to discuss such topics with other persons, because it is not the same at all. Nobody is able to replace him in any sense.

You (in fact we) are facing complicated grief, I guess.

I'm living lonely, I have only my mother as my closest family. Do you have family (spouse, children, brothers or sisters etc.)?

I'm so sorry. I can feel your pain. I really like the fact, though, that you're able to connect with your father in dreams. That was very nice to read. Your father sounds wonderful (like mine). Wishing you strength.

Like you, I have only my mother as close family. And like you, I am not interested in connecting with other people. The only person my soul was/is connected with is my father. He WAS my soul. What you say about not feeling able to watch a film or football match (without your dad) makes sense to me. I can't read novels, or listen to certain books because that's my dad. 

When I occasionally get close to realising what I have lost, it feels as if I'm going to go insane and have a complete mental breakdown. I have NO interest in the rest of my life without my dad. I just want to wrap my arms around him and be with him. That sort of love (his for me and mine for him) will never exist again for me.

Thank you for your words of comfort . its not easy and im trying to cope with knowing its my dads 3yr of his death next week . its not easy as i dont like to burden my children with my problems ive always been such a jolly happy person . noone really knows how much i hurt inside . smiling on the outside but its breaking my heart inside just knowing id give anything for him to walk in my house and cuddle me with the words hello darling . i really feel for people in our situation. until you loose a parent then you know exactly how difficult it is . but keep strong and never forget those good memories .