I really understand all of this. Seen its from a while ago i would love to hear how you are now because I'm not too good. All the people saying everything be ok blah blah have not lost there dad. I really dont wana live without him.

I hope your ok. xx

I am so, so sorry to hear this. I can identify with absolutely everything you say. And I'm not going to try to say anything "positive" because at this point I imagine you just feel devastated. I'm in a similar situation to you - my mum's health is poor and she talks about dying and when she's gone I too will be on my own, just as you describe.

I'm sure your dad was utterly amazing and I just wish you could have him back

I hear you. Unfortunately, I'm not great. I can't really see how anything can be "great" without my dad. You mention that you don't really want to live without your dad (if it's your dad you're talking about?). I feel the same way. However, I'm willing to give it more time. I've heard some people say it takes many, many, many years to feel "ok" again. Other people feel "ok" after a year. It's a cliche, but I guess each of us is on his/her own journey.

The long and short of it is this: no matter what happens in my life I would trade it all for my dad. He was more to me than everything else combined. I almost wish he hadn't been so wonderful because losing somebody like that is utterly soul-destroying.

Wishing you strength

It's funny - the thought that we're all going to die does help me too. It reminds me that what happened to my father isn't unique to my father. But I still wish I could be reunited with him because I know that I will NEVER love or be loved like that again. I DO believe in "soul-mates"; I DO believe there may be one person in your life with whom you feel "one." I had that with my father and itr sounds if you had it with your mother.

Like you, I avoid reminders. I can't look at my father's items for too long. I certainly couldn't hear his voice or watch clips of him. That would destroy me.

All I can say is that I have complete sympathy for you and "I can't just do this" occurs to me everyday. But we plough on. 

Thank you, I wish you could have your dad back too. 
Life is very unfair. I know people can't live forever but it doesn't stop me wishing they could. 
Take care of yourself x

Hi. 
I don't really know why I'm writing this..... I came across your post and it touched my heart and I feel like you were writing about me and my dad. I'm so sorry you're going through this. 
 

My dad died last Sunday before Christmas and I'm utterly lost.  I like that you too take some peace from understanding that your level of grief is a measure of the love you shared. But it's not enough is it.... I don't know what to do and how to live without him. 

I have the best husband and 3 gorgeous kids but I still feel empty and lost. I don't want to do this all without my dad :-( 

I just want my old life back with him in it... 
 

Hi, I've just come across this post also, I lost my Dad three weeks ago and I'm really struggling without him! My heart hurts so much! He had surgery last year for oesophagal cancer but they found that the cancer had spread to his stomach so he ended up having his whole stomach removed, he went through hell from last November his partner of 30 years kicked him out then he had to have an emergency pacemaker fitted! This past year I have had my dad living with me on and off only because he wanted his independence which was good but a constant worry if he was actually eating or not! Then by September I could see the weight had dropped off more he was so depressed, I managed to get him an appointment to see a dietitian at the hospital hoping they would put him on a feed to help build him up but we got the heartbreaking news that the cancer was back and spread through his body, My whole world came crashing down but I wanted to look after him so he came back to my home till the very end. I literally can't get my head around that he has gone, I suffer with anxiety & depression and honestly I feel like I'm suffocating. People keep telling me it will get easier but I honestly don't know it will. He really was my hero and my best friend I really don't know how I'm going to cope

I completely understand you, even though this post is old, felt like commenting on it, hope I won't upset you by talking about it and if I do I am really sorry. I lost my dad and going through the same thing. I am 44 and we didn't have a day which we never spoke. I don't feel whole anymore, like my other half is gone if that makes sense. We spoke every morning on the phone and had our coffees together chatting about everything and everyone, I literally have no one to talk to now because he was my only one. It feel weird, have so much memories of him, talks and fun times that we have done together, he is literally been in every minute of my life and now he is not here. My dad was my hero, the only person I can trust in this life and now is not here. Another thing that it hurts me loads is the knowing how people treated him, unfortunately we live in a very self centred world and people don't think of others abd to check on them, so when my dad passed away I had loads of people grieving which made me feel sad because where was they when he was around... they are crying but I feel like I am dying, I actually want to go but I know that will be a wrong thing to do because I have my own family who needs me. 
Anyways I do hope you are coping better now and you managed to find some comfort and peace. My condolences to you and your family and may your dad rest in peace. 

Hi szr - I'm so sorry to hear that you're suffering. What you say sounds very familiar to me. It's now been two years since I lost my father but I feel the same way. Everything you've written about you and your dad applies to me and mine.

I hope that you too find a way to cope. It sounds as if you had a wonderful relationship with your father. I know how difficult it is to lose that. Wishing you strength