I feel exactly the same. I lost my dad 9th May 2020 and my life felt like it ended that day also. It's never come back. My dad is my first thought every morning and my last thought every night. I literally hate my life without him and I'm sick to death of people telling me that it will get better with time because my heart knows it won't, it's just getting worse. I'm currently 5 months pregnant and what makes me feel worse is knowing that my bestest friend in the whole wide world isn't here to see my scan pictures or hold my son when he's born. I have to go through this feeling alone and even though my partner is comforting when I get upset, no one will ever make me feel better like my dad used to. I just miss him so much and the days seem so long without him. Even just being able to call him and hear his voice would make me feel better but now I can only listen to his voicemail just to hear him speak. I'm so sorry for what you're going through as this pain literally does break your heart and shatter it. If you ever need a friend please know that I am here for you always.

I feel exactly the same. I lost my dad 9th May 2020 and my life felt like it ended that day also. It's never come back. My dad is my first thought every morning and my last thought every night. I literally hate my life without him and I'm sick to death of people telling me that it will get better with time because my heart knows it won't, it's just getting worse. I'm currently 5 months pregnant and what makes me feel worse is knowing that my bestest friend in the whole wide world isn't here to see my scan pictures or hold my son when he's born. I have to go through this feeling alone and even though my partner is comforting when I get upset, no one will ever make me feel better like my dad used to. I just miss him so much and the days seem so long without him. Even just being able to call him and hear his voice would make me feel better but now I can only listen to his voicemail just to hear him speak. I'm so sorry for what you're going through as this pain literally does break your heart and shatter it. If you ever need a friend please know that I am here for you always.

I lost my mom in Oct 2020, I echo everything you said, except I'm not pregnant (or female). Especially that the days seem long, I wish they were about 4 hours shorter and it got dark earlier.  I'm alone left with no real family, people say I need to move on and get distractions.  Only the people that know really know what its like

I completely agree.. until you go through losing someone, especially when they are your whole world then nobody will ever understand the pain. We don't need distractions because that just prolongs the hurt, we just need that person back in our lives to feel whole again. I hate it when people say to move on or get over it because that hurts more hearing that than not hearing anything at all. I've surrounded myself with pictures of my dad and I speak to him like he's in the room with me just in the hope that one day I might get a reply. If you ever want to talk or cry together then please reach out to me because I will do anything I can to help you cope in any sort of way. 

Hi jodisuara,

I had written an extremely long response to your message but now see that it was not posted - bl**dy internet!

To summarise what I had written: I understand every word you've written. In fact, everything you say about yourself and your dad I could have said about myself and mine. I wish your dad were there to see his grandson (when he's born). I completely understand why it feels so wretched for you to be without your dad. I'm glad, though, that you're able to listen to his voicemail. Hopefully that gives you some comfort. Personally, I can't do anything like that. If I look at anything related to my father for too long, I feel I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. 

You're right - the pain breaks your heart. Sadly, it's also destroyed my soul. There was really only one thing in the universe that I cared about, heart and soul, and that's gone now. I hope that for you, with your son, you'll have someone else you love so deeply that you're able to live. But I completely understand if it still feels almost impossible to manage. Wishing you strength