Hi

My dad too had bile duct cancer . Was diagnosed In October 2019. Had a failed resection as it had spread when they opened him up.  He had sepsis 5 times and was constantly sick . He went into hospital in March 20. They locked the hospital down and we couldn't see him for 3 weeks due to covid.  We seen him for an hour to say goodbye and he died the next day alone. We all ended up arguing around the funeral . Unfortunately grief and shock do this to families sometimes.  I spent the night before my dads funeral smashing all my dishes and screaming at my mother.  Not cos she had done anything,  it was something I could not help.  People handle grief differently unfortunately. Try not to let them ruin this already awful time for you x

Hi and thank you for your reply I am sorry for your loss x hers had unfortunately spread to her nymph modes her abdomen her spine her heart chest and bones she really had no chance and she was the strongest person I know x I can't believe tomorrow we will be saying a final goodbye to her it's heartbreaking to have to choose between saying goodbye to my mother and best friend or supporting my husband who is upset he can't go x 

I can't believe they have said he can't go if she hadn't told you that. But you must go whatever or you'll regret it. You must go, ignore any nastiness, Pay your respects to your mum with flowers or whatever you want to leave there, and be confident that she loves you and that your relationship with her was solid. Sadly death can bring out the absolute worst in people, probably because of the stress, or jealousy. But you'll regret not being there as she would want you to be. So go. Your husband will get over it - you probably won't if you don't go. 

Hi thanks for your reply x 

I went to the funeral yesterday my hubby dropped me off and waited by the car for me as I was walking towards the chapel entrance  two of my selfish nasty family members started swearing at him and making threats for everyone to hear they ruined my poor mothers final day I just can't believe it I went back there today to see my mothers flowers we had bought and they have been destroyed how can any human being do this I know it wasn't wind damage etc as all the other tributes from them nasty people are ok but mines broken and wrecked my children's message card was broken off and chucked on the ground too I'm so heartbroken they have ruined the most precious day only sat to say goodbye how could they do it x 

Thanks for you lovely reply x 

me and my mother had a unbreakable bond she was everything to me we did so much together today would of been our mother daughter shopping day x I really do not have any intention of speaking to the vile individuals again I know my mum is watching over me and she will always let me know she is there she already came to me in a dream saying she was ok she is going to be ok she will see I am the only one that has given the the absolute respect she deserved I haven't had time to grieve due to all the grief I have been getting my "sisters" are jealous and always have been jealous of me and the bond we shared they always called em the golden child , when she was in hospital she would not allow any of the medical team to speak to anyone only me as I have been with her from the start she only passed away on the 14th of June and they seems to of rushed her to be cremated I didn't have any say in her plans at all I even had to ask the funeral directors the time her hearse would be leaving the house I felt like a stranger the songs that the others chose didn't have any of my mother in mind I knew her better than anyone we was best friends I just hope she is happy  and at peace despite what they did on her final journey x ️