Hi, so sorry to hear about your Mam, she fought a brave fight against this evil.  it took my husband 2 months ago at age only 44, we have two girls.  it's a cruel and heartless disease which shows no mercy. Your Mam knows how much you loved her,  I believe they are around us and not gone. .I have not touched my husband's stuff yet , too painful,  his clothes still hang in the wardrobe with mine,  his drawers are still full..I don't think there is any right or wrong with that...may be too soon for your Dad to part with her things too. I have plans to make some of his clothes into clothes for teddy bears for my girls  (9 and 13), and one for me and his mum, but haven't got further then that!  gives me an excuse to hang onto them for now!  my husband battled for a year, awful thing about that is watching him struggle thru treatment,  get his hopes up only to have them dashed at the next test results. ..watch a strong fit man waste away to skin and bone and have to see my children suffer too. On the other hand,  we had a year to get used to the fact that he was sick and the 'shock' factor was less. ..to be honest I don't know what is worse,  it's just a terrible disease that leaves so much misery in its wake. ..I still can't get my head around the fact that my husband is not here lying next to me now like he should be, and should have been for many years to come. All I can say is hang in there,  you are not alone in this suffering xx

..

Hi, sorry to hear about your Mum. I can honestly say I understand how you are feeling, i lost my Mum on 17th May to lung cancer. I can't honestly say how I am feeling as I'm still in disbelief that she's gone, it all happened too quickly. Diagnosed on 9th March we were told no treatment could be offered other than palliative. My anger is at the lack of care she received from the hospital which I believe was due to this pandemic we are in but my Mum deserved so much better, she mattered and I feel should have had better care from the hospital. She was diagnosed by the respiratory consultant and was then referred to oncologist she took not well before she even got to see the oncologist and never did get to meet them. 
She wanted to be cared for at home so myself and my sister moved in and  took care of her, I thought we would have had support from the likes of Marie Curie or McMillan nurses but have never seen either. All we got was her GP visiting once a week and a number to call a district nurse if she was in pain. Her final week still haunts me, the suffering she went through is unbearable to think of yet I can't get it out of my mind. The agitation she suffered from in the final week was awful and to have to call a nurse and wait up to an hour for them to appear to administer the medicines required to help my mum was horrendous. 
Some days I'm sad, other days I'm angry and feel like asking questions but I know if I do all I'll get told is Covid 19 is to blame, other days I just feel numb. I haven't slept a whole night since I lost her and it's just so hard and the heartache hurts.

We were only allowed 6 people at her funeral so I even that wasn't right as my Lovely wee mum deserved so much better than that.
 

i had to clear out her house already as she lived in rented accommodation and was on housing benefit and turns out the government stop paying that the day you die with no grace period to at least empty a home. It was hard to go through them all and so soon and if I had a choice I would have left it a wee bit longer. 

it just all seems so wrong and unfair and not how things should be. 

I am going to be speaking to someone from Maggies centre for support, it is usually done face to face but yet again Covid 19 has put a stop to that .

I keep hoping time will help me come to terms with it as it's just so difficult.

take care 

Hi  Stuart, just wanted to say how sorry I am your loss. I lost my mum suddenly on 16th may due to brain tumors,  we had no warning,  she felt abit dizzy etc went to hospital discovered it was cancer of the brain ,nothing could be done . Lost her within two weeks. So devastated, I truly believe in signs . Sometimes things cant be explained. 

Hi everyone, 

My mum passed away on April 27.  She had endometrial sarcoma. First diagnosed in 2008 (surgery, no follow up treatments required, only regular scans) and was completely fine until May 2019 (11 years!!).

Last May, discovered her bowl was blocked and they did surgery to remove the tumors from her small bowl and she bounced back well. Sadly, late last year the November CT showed it was already back. They gave her 12 - 18 months. We didn't really believe them as she was completely fine, no symptoms, very active. A month later her legs started to swell. That was really the only symptom until two weeks before she passed. She suddenly lost her appetite, got very weak and frail day by day. She was in hospital for 5 nights - walked herself in there thinking it was for an X-ray. She deteriorated so rapidly there, it's still so unbelievable and shocking to me. Whend the hospital discharged her,  the ambulance had to bring her home, she walked one day with the walker frame and then couldn't even do that. A day later she couldn't turn in bed. She died six days after she came back from hospital at home. It was so quick and unbelievably sad...  I can't even believe it. Cancer is such a wicked disease. 

I'm 43, live in the USA these days, not married, no kids. I was very close to my Mum. This year my parents would have had their 50th wedding anniversary. 

I think a lot about her final hours where she was on Midazolam. I wonder if she could hear her or feel her pain or if she was at peace. I really don't know but I think and worry about it all the time. 

None of you are alone in your suffering

Thanks for reading,

R xx

I also lost my partner 6 month ago I coped strongly in the beginning because we knew they could not cure the cancer but recently my sadness of missingnhim and wanting to be with him is unbearable its destroying me wanting him back

hi I lost my best friend two weeks ago she was like a mum and big sister to me in one.

had cancer two years ago and fought it and then they found growths in her groin this year totally devastated me again 

she was in hospital before lockdown and I was about to see her I couldn’t make a choice one day as what my plans were and then the next things it’s lockdown and I couldn’t go and see her . Spoke to her on the phone and she wanted to go home that’s all she wanted . She then was home and was told to go home and she had 3-6 months left which was another shock

then she lasted a few weeks from that if that so passed on the 22 nd May and I was about to see her the day before so again I missed saying bye 

just feel dreadful two weeks in the funeral we have had and I cried half way in but then snapped back to being my normal self after at the wake went home and just felt so numb at home after that night .All week feel guilty numb and angry I never got to see her in time and that I didn’t push myself to see her before lockdown 

She told me she missed me and loved me the week before she passed away and that she had slept for 7 hours and I was chatting about my choir and things going on and she was her usual self with me blunt to the point and making me laugh bless her 

She was in pain and hid that from me and said she was ok but she was not and I’d do anything to rewind the clock and have that time back I just feel sick sometimes like and my heart aches I can hear my heartbeat sometimes it’s sonloud and I hate going to bed and waking up and facing the day 

have lots of friends and family and I care for people but I really loved my best friend she was my London mum xx