I'm really sorry to read about your wife's diagnosis and the impact this has had on you both. It sounds incredibly tough.

I hope her meeting with the oncologist went well the other day. I'm not sure if they have been in touch with you since then but would it be possible to get an Italian-English translator to help with communication? Just so you can find out what you need to know and prepare for when she's able to come home.

I really hope you hear back from others who have been in this difficult position soon but if you have any questions that our cancer nurses may be able to help with then do feel free to post a question in their area of the forum. I'll provide a link to it just here.

In the meantime be kind to yourself and if you can, just try to take things a day at a time.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

I saw the oncologists yesterday and the cancer has recurred in her lungs as well so she is definitely on short time, they are trying to arrange hospice care (where I could stay with her)

They have said they will do all in their power to get her home by the end of this week, I'm now prepared and waiting.

I've spent quite a bit of our time together "looking after her" (Heart problems, thyroid issues,cancer) and now I have this awful self centered feeling that if she's not there what life is there for me? My usefelness stripped away and the things we planned to do just empty activities for one. Now I'm bleating, I know this is likely the grieving process and fear and anger.

But again someone here has popped up (you!) to give me comfort and for that I am so very grateful.

Thank you Ben

This place although can cause me acute pain, gives oodles of comfort as well to know comparative strangers take the time to offer help and support.

Thank you

Hi mccmcc

Just nipped on to say: thinking about you. And hope you're both bearing up ok. Has there been any news today on your partner coming home or hospice? xx 

Carla died today, I was summoned to the hospital about 6 days ago and I was screened and allowed to stay with her, the cancer had grown very quickly and she went into a coma two days ago, I stayed with her and was there when she died, now im back home and reality is doing its besy to crush me completely

I am desperately sorry to read this devastating news, mccmcc. I was hoping you could have Carla home...or at least some space together under hospice care. It is so sad that her cancer grew so quickly.
 

I was relieved to read that you did get to spend time together in her final days.
 

This forum is a good place to visit if you need a chat...sadly there are many of us on here who have lost loved ones due to cancer. Many of us have been where you are now. So please do come back whenever you need. 
 

Thinking of you xxx
 

Hi mccmcc

Have been thinking about you. Just dropping in to say hi. 
Hope you are bearing up ok. 
 

Here if you need xxx 

Thank you for thinking of me and I hope things are well with you.

I've been getting on OK, I've resumed work (language teaching) I have cleaned up the family tomb, Carla is now in a small chapel there awaiting her family to come over then we can place her ashes in the family grave.

She was vehemently non Christian but you have to abide by the rules and thats one of the rules here in Italy (ashes cannot be kept at home, apparentlyfamilies wouldfight over them and some even divvied them up)

So all in all not too bad, I have bad days and good days and agin thank you for thinking of me

Hi mccmcc,

Just wanted to say i'm so sorry for your loss.

Please do pop in here whenever you need someone to talk to or even just a distraction. 

Hopefully someone will always be online to support you in whatever way you need.

Kim

Hi Mccmcc

Gosh I am sorry for the delay. I must have a play around with the site and sort my notifications out (I did not know you had replied until I looked into the thread again). 
 

Glad you have been getting on OK and that you are back to work. I was the same as you...when I lost my parent to cancer, I returned within a couple of weeks and was happy for the distraction. Hope it's going well. Teaching - wow. Massive respect for teachers for all they do. 
 

Ah yes, I remember you said you were in Italy. I really had no idea there were such rules in place around ashes. Well I hope the world goes back to normal soon so that Carla's family can reach you as soon as possible, so that she can be laid to rest.

I also remember good days and bad days.....the bad days get less as times goes on. If I had a good stretch of good days and a sudden bad one, I'd get a bit worried about that, thinking I was back to 'square 1'. That wasn't the case, I soon bounced back and it was all a normal part of recovery. 
 

take care and please do check in whenever you need xxx

Don't worry about not replying, I didn't use facebook for a long time before Carlas demise and obviously needed to contact family and friends and I was amazed at the things people had messaged me with, including a long lost sister of mine, making enquiries as to "if I was...."

Anyway enough of my waffle, things are as OK as things can be in this situation, I'm actually going out now and will be going to a post lockdown Barbeque next Saturday, still have bad days but not as bad as the bad days I had before the better bad days!

Hope all well with you...

Thank you for the repsonse

Mick

Oh Mick, wow. A long lost sister?! Gosh I bet that was a surprise! I hope you can be reunited in person, if that's what you'd like. Bet you didn't expect to see that message! 

Post lockdown BBQ sounds amazing. Here in the UK, I'm sure you know - we have had more restrictions lifted and so I plan on some similar activities with friends and family soon. Glad you're doing as best as you can and are getting out and about. 
I fully understand re: bad days. You're doing great. 
 

Take care, enjoy yourself - come back here anytime :) x 

Zara x x 

Oh Mick, wow. A long lost sister?! Gosh I bet that was a surprise! I hope you can be reunited in person, if that's what you'd like. Bet you didn't expect to see that message! 

Post lockdown BBQ sounds amazing. Here in the UK, I'm sure you know - we have had more restrictions lifted and so I plan on some similar activities with friends and family soon. Glad you're doing as best as you can and are getting out and about. 
I fully understand re: bad days. You're doing great. 
 

Take care, enjoy yourself - come back here anytime :) x 

Zara x x