I am desperately sorry to read this devastating news, mccmcc. I was hoping you could have Carla home...or at least some space together under hospice care. It is so sad that her cancer grew so quickly.
 

I was relieved to read that you did get to spend time together in her final days.
 

This forum is a good place to visit if you need a chat...sadly there are many of us on here who have lost loved ones due to cancer. Many of us have been where you are now. So please do come back whenever you need. 
 

Thinking of you xxx
 

Hi mccmcc

Have been thinking about you. Just dropping in to say hi. 
Hope you are bearing up ok. 
 

Here if you need xxx 

Thank you for thinking of me and I hope things are well with you.

I've been getting on OK, I've resumed work (language teaching) I have cleaned up the family tomb, Carla is now in a small chapel there awaiting her family to come over then we can place her ashes in the family grave.

She was vehemently non Christian but you have to abide by the rules and thats one of the rules here in Italy (ashes cannot be kept at home, apparentlyfamilies wouldfight over them and some even divvied them up)

So all in all not too bad, I have bad days and good days and agin thank you for thinking of me

Hi Mccmcc

Gosh I am sorry for the delay. I must have a play around with the site and sort my notifications out (I did not know you had replied until I looked into the thread again). 
 

Glad you have been getting on OK and that you are back to work. I was the same as you...when I lost my parent to cancer, I returned within a couple of weeks and was happy for the distraction. Hope it's going well. Teaching - wow. Massive respect for teachers for all they do. 
 

Ah yes, I remember you said you were in Italy. I really had no idea there were such rules in place around ashes. Well I hope the world goes back to normal soon so that Carla's family can reach you as soon as possible, so that she can be laid to rest.

I also remember good days and bad days.....the bad days get less as times goes on. If I had a good stretch of good days and a sudden bad one, I'd get a bit worried about that, thinking I was back to 'square 1'. That wasn't the case, I soon bounced back and it was all a normal part of recovery. 
 

take care and please do check in whenever you need xxx

Don't worry about not replying, I didn't use facebook for a long time before Carlas demise and obviously needed to contact family and friends and I was amazed at the things people had messaged me with, including a long lost sister of mine, making enquiries as to "if I was...."

Anyway enough of my waffle, things are as OK as things can be in this situation, I'm actually going out now and will be going to a post lockdown Barbeque next Saturday, still have bad days but not as bad as the bad days I had before the better bad days!

Hope all well with you...

Thank you for the repsonse

Mick

Oh Mick, wow. A long lost sister?! Gosh I bet that was a surprise! I hope you can be reunited in person, if that's what you'd like. Bet you didn't expect to see that message! 

Post lockdown BBQ sounds amazing. Here in the UK, I'm sure you know - we have had more restrictions lifted and so I plan on some similar activities with friends and family soon. Glad you're doing as best as you can and are getting out and about. 
I fully understand re: bad days. You're doing great. 
 

Take care, enjoy yourself - come back here anytime :) x 

Zara x x 

I can relate to your situation i lost my husband 6 weeks ago and tried to care for him as long as possible due to no visiting at hospitals. He was only in the hospice 3 days before he passed away. 

Its horrific and i feel totally lost and lonely. 

What we have to remember is we looked after our loved ones till the end. 

Lifes so cruel

take care xx

Oh my gosh. My heart is breaking for you. I couldn't possibly try and give you advice,  because i really wouldn't know what I woild do in your situation.  But my love and best wishes are with you both. Keep strong for as long as you can. Prays are with you both. Thinking of you. X