Hi Poppy17,

I know there's not much I can say to help how you feel, but I just wanted you to know we're always here for you and this forum will always be a safe space for you write down how you feel, have a rant, talk about your thoughts, or just to speak to others who understand.

I'm sure you're doing a great job in terms of supporting your family, and getting on with your work and everything else. It's important that you look after yourself too, and that you find outlets and chances to grieve the way you want or need to. And to also give yourself time to do things you enjoy and that take your mind off things from time to time.

I'm not sure if you've explored professional support but it can be very valuable to speak to someone like a counsellor, or an organisation such as Cruse. Having someone who is a professional and also more neutral to speak to can really help.

As I say, we're always here - do use the forum for support and to speak to others. Hopefully others will reply here soon, or otherwise have a browse around for similar discussions.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

You're more than welcome - and all the best to you too,

Ben

Sorry it is so hard for you/us, Poppy. Wow, three years and you still feel that way. I am only three months without my mom and a little over a year without my dad. I feel as you do...I only want to sleep and dream. I am so disappointed in life and what happened to my mom. I am really struggling to find a point in this life. My mom seems to have taken all the meaning with her. I feel like life is a nightmare now. I just slog through, hoping...hoping for what? My hope and faith have been shaken to the core. Just more guilt at that development.

I guess I am holding on for others and to see if time reveals a way to cope. IDK, though. I kind of hate everything right now and am barely here. I just want my mom back.

Just know you aren't alone in how you're feeling.

I am a little over a year since I lost my dad 58. I was pregnant at the time with his first grandchild who was born 2 weeks after he went to sleep. I am lucky to have my mum, but I struggle so much watching my little boy grow up and thinking about how excited my dad was and how much he would have loved him. 
It is truly heartbreaking for anyone and I don't know what the answer is. Well there isn't an answer, we just have to carry on. 
We keep his memory alive everyday, we talk about him everyday, I take my son to visit him and have photos everywhere. Xx

Xx