Hi Aidan sounds like you are a good lad its not easy losing your dad when your so young sounds like some councilling could help you a lot it helped me 17 its not easy for a young person to deal with its hard enough just growing up you said you felt your dad behind what makes you think he isnt .only our bodys die the energy that makes it all work which is us never dies . Hes probably hanging round till you feel better who knows where we go when we die but energie is always there around us in us we cant see it but we all know its its there i felt my partner when she passed it was very comforting have you spoken to your mum about this maybe let her read this post you put on you def need some support but you will be ok my friend loosing a parant at 11 is not something you get over quickly bet your dads proud of you messaging on here takes some strengh to come on here.best wishs paul