Hi Amy

I am so sorry to hear this - you and yours are doubtless devastated.

I lost my wonderful husband Matt at just 45 twelve days ago and it's so hard.

Pancreatic is a particularly nasty beggar - like a ninja of the cancer - it sneaks up silently and is so quick it takes your breath away.

Love to you and your family as you walk this long path of grief but remember that you don't have to do it alone.

xxx Paula

Thank you so much Paula. Rest in Peace to your and forever Matt. Xx

Sending across love and strength to you and your family too. 

Amy x

Thank you so much Paula. Rest in Peace to your and forever Matt. Xx

Sending across love and strength to you and your family too. 

Amy x

Hi, so sorry to hear what you guys have been through, u r a little ahead of me...my husband, 44, is nearing the end of his battle, (oesophagus cancer gone to liver), heartbreaking for me and our children watching him waste away and daily go downhill... and in so much pain, it's a hard one to sort out painwise apparently. Do you feel any relief now they are no longer in pain? Or just miss them like crazy...is there anything you found, or were recommended, to tell them to help ease them on their journey? I've tried to accept it but dont think I will until he is no longer with us...still doesn't seem possible for that to happen though i know it will, the hospice dr says he is concerned we are "not in the same place as the cancer", my way of coping is I cant give up hope till the end- is this wrong? I dont want to be a family of only 3....but I know in my heart its almost certain we will be very soon...

Good morning,

Thank you for your kind words.

We saw dad the night before he passed individually because of the coronavrisu situation and he was deteriorating quickly, he was on an oxygen machine. I told him no matter what happens we love you and we all know you love us. The doctor tells me after leaving the room "the next 24 hours is crucial for your father, cancer is aggressive hence swelling of his legs, abdomen and the breathing issues" that moment I knew the end was near. I go home run a bath, cry my soul out and prayed to the gods above to please take him to heaven and give him peace if that is what he wants, they listened. I felt relieved at first and then sadness and other emotions over takes it, which is when you must remind yourself that they are free and when your loved one is so far advanced I deeply believe they want to be set free even if they dont tell you. My dad hated being so ill, hated the chemo, hated not being able to walk up the stairs or even shower because of the weakness. All you can do and what I did and family did up until he passed was to spend time with them as best you can, encouraging them to eat and drink but not over powering them with it, talking to them and just listening and being there, and them knowing they dont need to talk if they dont want to. 

Never give up hope, you will know in your mind and heart when his time to be set free is near, and when that time comes then you will start to accept he has gone, it may be a slow process or a faster one, everyone is different and that's ok. No matter what happens, look after yourself, eat, drink, try and sleep and get fresh air outside. Your husband even now wants you all to keep yourself well, it's easy to forget to because they are the person who is sick, but they truly want you to live your best life even if it's not said by them. 

I hope I've answered your questions xx

If there is anything else you want to ask or just general chat I'm here for you and everyone else on the forum. Love and strength. Amy x

Hi  wanted to let you know my husband lost his battle last Friday 3rd April, he was very ill (only semiconscious) but it was still a shock when he went. We had him at home, his mum and looked after him, when he went the children and I were next to him playing cards, laughing and talking, dog on the bed too, sun streaming in the window, when I turned and noticed his breathing had stopped-.  it was very sad but not scary, I'm glad we were all there, the kids were not frightened,  it seemed very natural. But he has left a big hole that cant be filled by anyone else

Hi Plebbs,

Sorry for for only reading your message now.

I'm deeply sorry to hear about your husband.

How are you all coping?

I feel a part of me is missing xxx