Hi gav your just coming out of numb stage ime so sorry my sympathys to you and all your family it truely is agony yes your greiving and althoe we all grieve diffrently your ok dont worry how you are we only see grief on the tv so if we grieve diffrently we think we arnt grieving properly the way they portray is rubbish . But i can tell you this this pain your all feeling does dwindle or we would all go mad it hurts so much there are things you can do to help counciling walks with your family .i used to force myself to go for a walk in nature all these small things together add up to big things you have done the first step coming and posting on here and wellcome . Just take one day at a time .you can ring the samartans i did when i was at home late at night and it got to much .ive lost mum dad and my partner so i can empathise with you .at the time we think we will be like this forever but we arnt it takes time and what you do with the time the sun does shine again you where brought into this world to go out and have a great life so make your mum and dad proud and happy to see it because they will our bodys may wear out but the energy the thoughts love and everything that makes us is still there we cant see energy but we know its there one day at a time my friend.paul

Thanks Paulus. Yea I find it helps just to talk to people. And I never taught I'd be able too but I do find it helps. It's just a cruel world at time's. Just wish it was someone else not him as awlful as that sounds 

Thanks pal