Hi Sflaye,

Welcome to Cancer Chat. Firstly I'm so sorry to read about your mum. I'm glad you've found this forum and I hope you are able to find some support and guidance here.

Firstly, everyone's experience with grief is different and there is no right or wrong. It's important that you don't bottle everything up, so I would encourage you to speak to others where possible - whether it is friends or family, professionals (such as a counsellor, or the organisations below), or us on this forum - or a combination.

It's OK to not feel OK. And usually it is helpful to share with others.

The organisation Cruse offer support and guidance to those in situations such as yours, and they have a free helpline too. You can find out more on their website here.

In terms of how you're feeling, Samaritans are another option for people to talk to, who will listen and offer any support that may be helpful. Their number is 116 123 and you can find their website here.

Try to get some support and keep believing that things will get easier - or more manageable.

WIshing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi its one of the worst pains is grief its inguish realy .its not very long since you lost your poor mum and seeing a loved one die in pain is going to take some getting over but you will .please dont try anything your mum brought you into this world to have a good life as i often say after some months the world goes back to norm but you dont that the trouble we tell everyone we are ok so they avoid talking about it for fear of putting there foot in it grief realy is a lonely road no one else will love your mum as you do .as to having kiddies they come along when least expected and thats not a platitude its true you cant just say its time for kids it dosnt work that way and you stressed out will make harder it realy nocks you for a six physicaly and mentaly my sons sons wife had problems conceiving they thaught they were going to have ivf and now they have two so dont give up hope youve hit rock bottom now and theres only one way now and thats up and coming on here is your first step counciling can realy help your local hospice will have councilers its not a magic bullet but you get to talk without having people change the subject i found some ignored what i said if i brought my partner into the conversation .maybe show your post to your partner i doupt you could put it better if your not sleeping etc maybe make an appointment with your gp they have things to help short term but you will come to terms with your loss and it will get eisier ime so so sorry your suffering .regards paul

Hi

I lost my adored 45 year old husband last Wednesday to pancreatic cancer and like you are in a state of shock, anger, confusion and fear .

Perhaps it will get easier in time - pray God because I can't live a life feeling like this but please know you're not alone .

xxxxxxx

Hi 

I have just lost my partner, he died last Monday of pancreatic cancer, aggressive. He was 57, fit and well in December, chippy by trade. He self treated an undiagnosed stomach ulcer on/off for years and during November/December it flared up. He was unable to eat normally as the pain made it so uncomfortable. Eventually had endoscopy, colonoscopy and CT scan which showed mass of cancer, he had secondary too. From diagnosis, two weeks later he had slipped away. We are in disbelief, he's gone from our lives, massive void!! We cry everyday and our lives feel so so empty. 
 

Do not feel bad that you're still crying for your mum, bereavement is a personal journey, it doesn't matter how long it takes, it's like a rollacoaster we all have to ride it but during that time you also have to look after yourself.

Take care x  

I'm so so sorry to hear about your husband, please read my post below, perhaps we could support each other. 

Thank you all so much! 

I am determined to be a better person then I was yesterday I feel I owe that to her at least! 

Hoping posting alot more on here will help my grief knowing that am not alone in feeling like this and a little help from my gp to mabye get into a surport group I can vist. 

I hope you all take care and look after your selfs in this very difficult time and an sorry to hear about all your losses love and light to you all 

You can private message ive a chum on here we massage every day was a lifeline to me if you feel akin to someone just put in a request postings good to start with but short lived you can pick and choose then its like texting a friend bit like a pen pal and its private

Please get medical help you cannot go through this alone - I lost my beloved mother to cancer 3 years ago so I know how devastating it is and how heartbreaking. For 3 years I felt dead inside hopeless sadbeyond belief like all the light had gone out of my life like there was nothing left to live for - I had no family left apart from my brother who I am not close to - my cat kept me going in the end he was a kitten when I got him and he was so oblivious to it all as he was just starting his life - also I got into gardening - to see life emerge is so healing and helped me so much - your mother would want you to carry on - we all lose loved ones it is part of life - you cannot give up please realise that time will heal you are grieving and it takes as long as it takes but you will get better - please get some support 

Hi Betty 

I think it would be such a help to be able to turn to someone who truly understands .

Thank you