Hi ime so sorry no ones replied . And so sorry for your loss griefs  funny personal thing i think a lot of people feel that about there dad husband child its  confusing i tryed asking god to take me instead and ime not religieuse at all but i do beleive none of all this is pure chance theres something bigger than us that we will never understand or are ment to .in the order of things its not been five minutes since you lost your dad so dont worry just let your emotions work on how you feel not how you think you should be. grief makes you worn out and we dont think like we did lodgic goes out the window but i can say you will be ok it gets harder before it gets easier then you start to come to terms with it then the pain changes and the overwhelming loss and thoes all pervading thoughts start to leave you how can your dad have realy gone hes in you he made you to go out in this world to have a wonderful life j.like i did with my children yes grieve but your way not how you think but how you feel he will not be far away even thoe his bodys gone the energy that was him is still around like all energy we know its there even thoe we cant see it just take one day as it comes and one day the sun will shine again my sympathys to you and your family .paul