Hi Bethany.....I'm so sorry to hear of the death of your father and under such horrific circumstances. My heart goes out to you.

I'm guessing by your user name that you may be around 30 (sorry if I'm wrong). That's the same age I was when I lost my dad to the same disease. It's over 40 years ago now but whilst you never forget, the bad memories will fade and and will be overtaken by the happy memories of all the times you shared together during his lifetime.

I sincerely hope you're not on your own having to deal with this. With the support of family and close friends you will come through. Share your grief and together you will get through this awful time.

Sending hugs and here if you need to chat.......Irene xxx

Hi bethanyboo ime so sorry about your poor dad but lets concentrate on you youve had a terrible shock its natural you feel like this .you may have a bit of ptsd .but how long has it been ???? We do cope but its not easy but you can do things to help . A walk in the park can help slightly being around loved ones helps a bit counciling realy helps with the questions your local hospice will do that they deal with death every day so in my oppinion they are the best silly as it sounds i went for months .trust me in this you will not feel like this forever but griefs griefs a funny thing we all deal with it diffrently forget how the tv portrays its nothing like that its so personal .if its realy effecting you go have a word with your gp maybe rathere than try to explain show the gp this post you put up . Othere than this you just have to keep talking and take one day at a time these memories will dim in time this is what i did when i lost my partner .when dad died i was away took a long time to get over it wish i had had counciling then it wouldnt have lasted as long because i had unanswered questions and felt guilt you name it but now i realise guilt goes with grief and i had no reason to feel that but we do .paul