Hello,

          just a thought, what about a dog to look after,ideally an abandoned rescue dog that previously had a hard life,something that depended on him.If he was a mental health nurse, he obviously cared for those in need, and it just might be thing to give him companionship and a purpose. How you would go about it is another thing but you might start by making an adoption donation on his behalf to a small local dog rescue charity in the guise of a present and go from there.Ideal would be one hat welcomes hands on assistance from volounteers for dog walking and petting and see if it could develop from there.Or if you have any animal rescue centres looking for volunteers if he does not like dogs.People will often respond to animals when they withdraw from other people,

                                                                                                                            good luck, David

Hi David, thanks for your response. He did have a dog but she died about 6 months ago and I think the dogs passing has compounded the grief he was already experiencing. 

I have broached the subject with him about getting another dog, he seems receptive but lacking in motivation to research or visit dog homes. I have even thought of just turning up with a dog for him but he would hit the roof. Thanks for the advice though. 

hello again,

                 maybe just try the sneaky way by giving the dog home his contact details for their newsletters and updates and see if that might trigger a response directly from himself, no harm done either way,

                                                                                                               david

Hi ive been through and am roughly same age as your dad forget depression your dads greiving ive lost many other relatives and i can say that nothing compares to what your dads going  through its like your whole lifes got a massive full stop on your dads life i ate junk put on weight sat and watched tv hes feeling lost he will find himself eventualy its a fine line bettween between grief and depression only a dr can do that forcing him to do this and that will only make him feel guilty he will sort himself just keep aan eye on him maybe cook him or take him some healthy food when you can .i did go and get counciling etc etc but in the end i slowly have started to come back i come on here and try to give a few hope and a bit of comfort because you do come back you could show your dad your post perhaps he just needs a jolt or maybe just to let him get on with it but pushing him will not help he will work through it how long it will take depends on him but he will apologies for being a bit hard ime not realy hes is very lucky to have you show hin some of these posts he may start to give others the benifits of his experiances in life when you get to our ages we know a great deal about life . Ine not saying the grief is worse ime meaning its very diffrent to other types ime so sorry for you to loosing your mum .paul ps i went and got counciling and did all sorts it helped but my brain brought me back in the end its i dull ache now not that all invading agony of loss . 

Thanks so much for your reply Paul, it's good to know that people do come out the other side. I won't be able to show him these posts he's very old fashioned (stiff upper lip and all that) he'd kill me.

Would you recommend counselling for him? Was their anything else you found helped you? I understand if you want to keep this private.

Helen

I suppose a dog may help eventualy but it would be similer in a small way saying meet someone else he has to decide that himself .i found counciling helped it got me out of bed give me something to look to every week but i may be very diffrent to your dad he now has to make a new life in a way only he can do that .ime surprised with him being a nurse he wouuld poo poo it you may be surprised we only see our parants as mum and dad we never see the others they are maybe he will not be angry at all if you ask for advice maybe show him a post from someone whos strugging with a diffrent loss like your trying to help them and need his help but invariably he has to sort it himself and he will so long as he dosnt start drinking . I still feel a releif when i get home but we all deal with it in our own way aur own time just relax a bit hes been on this planet a long time he will sort himself . Paul