My dad has 3 months to live

Yesterday I found out that my amazing brave dad only has 3 months to live.. which has come as a massive shock considering he has never been ill in his life until we found out he had a cancerous brain tumour a month ago.

 

i am only 21 and keep thinking my dad will never see me get married, have children or be successful. I don't know how I will cope without him at such a young age. Any advice is appreciated 

  • Hi Marie,

    The timelines you're going through would be devatating to anyone.  There is no fairness to any of this and I think in timeslike this we try and make sense of it and put logic to it and it comes down to him being so unlucky. I'm 32 and my Mum died last year in November after a brave 1 year battle with Vulvar cancer and due to intense radiotherapy was unable to make my wedding last July nor will she be able to meet my kids in the future. 

    I guess i'm trying to say i'm facing some of the fears you have expressed and you can move past them and thrive. Your dad may have longer than the 3 months (fingers crossed) and just try and enjoy every interaction you have together whilst you can. I'm sure he would be incredibly proud of you Marie, even at 21. 

    Having happend yesterday it must still be incredibly raw but trust me it's tough but you can get through this and those worst fears - try to turn them into a positive and let your dad know you will get married, have kids and be as successful as you can be.  You will continue to make him proud througout this time and beyond. 

    Scott x

  • Hi Marie, 

    I am slightly older 31, but I lost my dad nearly a year ago to oesophagus cancer after a short battle. The fittest, healthiest man you would ever know until that point we lost him at 58. 

    I was pregnant with their first grandchild at the time; we buried him and I went in to labour the next day and a beautiful baby boy arrived 2 weeks to the day dad went to sleep. I had to go ahead with my wedding 6 months later that we had pulled forward for him. 
     

    What I'm trying to say is, although it has been the hardest, most horrific, unexpected time of my life, I am getting through it. I'm not even sure how and I'm not even sure how a year has passed, but you take each day at a time, sometimes just an hour at the time.

    As you can see I still take strength from this site and knowing I'm not alone. Keep talking, spend all the hours you can with him and I also wrote notes on everything we spoke about and did in those last weeks, I always look back at them.

    Lots of hugs x