Thank you 

I'm trying to look after myself but it was always my husband who cooked so I'm going to have to learn to do more than snacks for myself. 
I'm so frightened for the future. I can't see beyond the funeral 

family and friends are lovely but they're not my lovely husband 

I just long to talk to him 

Thank you replying. It's good of you to take the time x

Dear Jules 

thank you for replying. Your experience is so similar it's given me hope that I too can build a new life one day without my darling husband. 
I know I'm still thinking he is just at work but at that 4 week mark when he should be coming home i think I'll really feel the loss then. 
my children and I talk about my husband a lot and I know he won't be forgotten. He had lots of funny sayings that we all use and it makes us smile to talk about him. 
I just long for his touch. To have a hug and snuggle to watch the telly. 
I bought a valentines day card yesterday to put in his coffin. 
I saw them in the shops and it broke my heart to think I wouldn't have to buy him one again so I did. Do you think I'm crazy? 
It's all these things we take for granted that I know are going to be hard 

thank you again for taking the time to post 

Julie xx

Hi I have been on this forum for comfort but not posted before.My husband died 18 months ago.  I too still feel absolutely lost. He was late sixties, I was 62 and his diagnosies was in March and he died in May.  I was used to being on  my own through his work and with other things he was involved in and I did do a lot of stuff on my own but I have found his loss difficult to deal with. It is the small things like coming home to an empty house, not having anyone to watch tv with and share a glass of wine.  As others on here have said, and you may feel it is a cliche, things do get better with time though they will never be the same. To ehco other posters, just take one day at a time.  I get fearful of the future. I have no children or siblings and feel very much alone but I have a good circle of friends. I can't imagine myself every marrying again - to be frank, I could not be bothered to train another one up ! But I  am doing things on my own and having holidays and in the fullness of time I  am sure you will be able to start enjoying life too.  Yes life, and cancer, is unfair andlosing a partner hurts like hell.  There is  no quick solution and I still get upsent when I open drawers and cupboards and see stuff with my husband's writing on, or possessions or photos.  I know how annoying it is for  people to say "ooh you are doing so well" when you feel you are "drowning" but I take comfort from thinking  my beloved husband would want the best for me and is proud of how I  am coping, albeit with blips and hurdles.

I wish you all the best.