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I don’t know how to help my mum after my dads death

Nl55
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Hi,

im really struggling at the moment. My dad passed away 5 months ago following a short battle with a brain tumour. my mum (as to be expected) isn't coping too well. I go round when I can and call her as often as I can and make sure I do things for anniversaries and significant dates but it doesn't seem to be helping. 
she is going to counselling and she seems to feel more positive after these sessions. 
I have a very stressful job so am finding it difficult to balance my work, home and social life. 
I know my mum hides things from me and won't tell me when she is feeling upset but I can tell. I just don't know what I can do to make things easier. 
many advice? 

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    Hi so sorry if i could make a suggestion ring your mum last thing at night and first thing in the morning a quick chat and here a voice because thats when it hurts the most 5 months is no time at all its over 18 months for me and i still suffer every day but ime managing and it dosnt hurt all the time so just keep in touch the best you can .we need to be alone to grieve but not all the time its a long lonely road is grief but one day in the future your mum will wake up and notice the sun is shinning .paul

  • Offline in reply to Paulus

    Hi, 

    Firstly sorry to hear what you're going through, I'm in a very similar position. I lost my dad after a 9 month battle to a brain tumour and am constantly worried about my mum. She's doing okay but I am just so sad for her.

    i just try and call her everyday on the way back from work and go to see her. Also invite her around to do activities/go places/see things so that there are happy things to concentrate on.

    I'm sure you're doing a great job and your mum appreciates you so much, I really know how difficult it is trying to live your life (work, some sort of social life etc.) and be there for your mum.

    just keep doing what you're doing x 

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