Hi Andrea

sorry to read about your loss xx 

I have also lost a parent to lung cancer and I'm a similar age to you. Like you, I was terrified of the funeral (this was not helped when someone said, "at the funeral - it will hit you".....this caused significant anxiety, thinking I'd fall apart or even worse....but that certainly did not happen). 
My experience of the funeral was completely different to how I imagined it would be. The anticipation of the funeral was so much worse than the actual event. In fact, the funeral wasn't an unpleasant day...of course, there were tears....but no falling apart...no catastrophic reaction...no 'hitting' me and suddenly going crazy with grief xxx 

My experience was that the funeral was important for moving on and recovering xxx there wasn't a feeling of things be final.....more a case of it being an important step. 
I promise you that this does get easier. I'm proof of that. You won't always feel like this...this initial period of terrible painis temporary. When I think back to my parent now....yes, there is a feeling of "gosh...I miss you" but it isn't a knife through the heart anymore. 
 

you will likely always miss your Mum and that's ok. But it won't always feel like this - promise xx 

I'm sorry xxx 

I am 32 and lost my dad last year to this vile disease very quickly. 
I will say that the funeral day itself was not what I expected, at some points in the day I even found myself laughing at peoples stories of him, of course I felt guilty for that and even times when I was smiling. Its not humanly possible to cry the entire day, you will get through it. 
I am 10 months on and I think about my dad every single day, sometimes I cry, hysterically, others I dont. 
 

I found the anticipation of everything far worse xx

I'm so sorry you are going through this Andrea. I lost my mum two years ago this May, and I was 41 at the time so I too felt a bit cheated. It does feel young to no longer have a mum (or in my case, both parents gone). As others have said, sometimes it is the fear of the funeral that is actually worse than the event, but in a lot of ways, it can be a healing day. It's like the first step in dealing with the grief. In my case, we had a a few days where there were visitations at the funeral home. We had a t.v set up with music and photographs showing all the happy memories. It was touching how many people showed up to support my sister and I. 

I hope you get lot's of support during this horribly difficult time. Having friends and family show their love with flowers, cards etc. is the life line we need in this time of crisis.

As others have said, there really is no time lime for grief, and I agree completely with what daughter1398 said about grief - the first year of grief being the hardest, and that you don't really ever get over it, you learn to live with it. But there will also be moments where you feel ok, even happy. All the best.