Lost my mam before christmas

I know how everyone feels my dad died from an illness years ago and he was like the foundation rock of the family. MAM didn't really say much after he died but I know she would hide back her tears till night time when in bed. She took his death badly but she had us(her family) around her. Then there was me I couldn't accept my dad's death eventhough I'd spoke to doctors etc and all said the same thing. To this day I still think If dad had told me he wasn't well again. What if should I have done this Could I have done that and the out come is all the same. Dad was gone. Eventually we got to grips with his loss although it took us some time to mention him.

MAM was the second stability in my life. She was always around for me. She was there for me and I was there for her. Then suddenly mam dies and I am on my own. I have no family of my own and my siblings keep in touch but to know I won't speak to her anymore hug her kiss her goodnight. It kills me

  • Hey so sorry .we all feel guilt seems to go with grief if wouldnt matter if you had done everything you would find guilt but i bet you you did everything you new how to do i knocked myself to pieces when i lost my partner but wouldnt it be great if we all had hindsight and could save our loved ones but we cant all we can do is our best and i bet you did .have you not got any friends if not you know you have loads of chums you just havnt met them yet theres loads of social groups for all ages on the web you just have to contact one that seems to suit you they usualy welcome you with open arms its like the first day of school lol .hey ime in my sixtys i go out for meals with em its rubbarb at first but you soon find the ones you get on with . Anyway your not realy alone your just by yourself at the moment youl be ok just take it easy one day at a time and keep coming and telling us how your getting on .paul

  • I am so sorry for your heart ache 

    losing both your parents is so difficult & I can totally relate to the what's ifs I drive myself crazy. 
     

    I hope you can find some peace 

    someone said to me recently how lucky I was to of had the love of my parents in my life & that their love would always hold a lasting impression on my future/decisions I make/how I treat others. 
    I try to take comfort in thinking of how lucky I was, I know it's hard when all you want us them back.

    im so sorry you have to go through this pain life can be so hard, they both sound like wonderful people who you loved so much & im sure loved you unconditionally & would of wanted you to have a nice life & I hope in time you can be happy 

     

    god bless