Hi

Im sorry to here of your loss.

When it happens, your are in shock and nobody or anything can prepare you for for how to deal with this loss.

I lost my husband on the 24 October to lung & sadly brain cancer. 6 weeks earlier we thought he had pulled a muscle in his shoulder which wouldnt heal. After having an x-ray we were told that he had stage 4 lung cancer, less than a week later due to his change in behaviour he was scanned and told that it had spread to his brain ( which affected everything).  They started him on chemotherapy & immunotherapy he only had 1 course before he was rushed in with sepsis & pneumonia on a Friday by Sunday he was sedated and never re-gained consciousness and it took 20 days for him to pass away. I was fotunate enough to be able to have a bed placed by his side and I never left until he took his last breath.  

So, from diagnosis to death it was 6 weeks but for nearly 3 weeks of that for our family we had no further personal contact with him.

I posted on here only last week, as I am still so very lost without him.  From age 16-49 my life was him we shared everything together he was my everything and I dont know how to have a life without him either.

I'm hoping that by speaking to other people who know how this feels, who know that Cancer not only took our loved ones but has taken our own future that it will help me in someway.

The prvious comment from Paul is quite correct, the fact you have posted on here means that you are grieving and are brave enough to reach out to like minded people who do understand what your going through because they have been unfortunate to have suffered such a huge loss.

Do whatever you feel you need to do to get through each day.