Hi ime so sorry sometimes the nhs and otheres can let us down it makes it so much harder sometimes a bit of anger can help but please dont let it consume you .we tend to go through every emotion when we loose our loves and in a way its hardest to bear. Have you much support yourself this is truely a horrid disease sounds like he was a very courageous man and you to. I lost my partner 18 months ago and ime starting to try and make a life again .but for you its so early all i can say is it does get easier goes from agony to a dull ache but try and look after yourself now you will be emotionally exhausted you need to heal yourself as grief is like an ilness just try and take one day as it comes .so sorry again .paul

I have lots of support .

The anger wont consume me but I  know it wont help me but by complaining it might help some else. 

My husband was the bravest man I know and I'm still smiling that I was dancing in front of his coffin on Friday

Hi good you have lots of support . Dont be to brave and tell everyone your ok because you will not be one at a time eh maybe when your ready a bit of counciling does help lots seem to suffer longer because they think they can handle it alone .its agony as it is without help family and friends are great but they dont have the experiance the hospice councilers have and i can tell you in a few months the world starts to go back to normal but we are still suffering then at least an hour a week for yourself then thats when it comes into its own . P