Firstly I'm sorry to hear your are struggling and for your loss. 

I also lost my Mum in June. How you describe your feelings, I can 100% relate to. I think we all have this image in our heads of how we think we should cope afterwards. However grief will take it's own course and break even the strongest of us. I went from coping so well after our Mums death thinking in some way I was winning with life after keeping myself so busy, so that grief had not got to me... Then boom, it hit me. I did not cope at all. Last few months have been extremely hard. I find the best thing to do is take it a day at a time. A bad day isn't a bad week. Try not been to hard on yourself because it isn't an easy thing to accept! I understand how having your husband and your kids keep you going, as mine do with me also. Although there are days I feel very isolated, I struggle to leave my house some days. I have a few friends but none of them really close. My Mum was my go to person for chats, a cuppa so now I feel I don't really have anyone. Which is hard to get use to, it can make you feel so lonely. I do think this is part of grief in some ways. It makes you see things in a negative way! I hope for you time you can see that life can be good again and feel happiness. I think it will come, or I'm hoping so because this surely can't be the way forward how we feel. Many people tell me it gets easier and I keep the faith that it will one day. 

Firstly I'm sorry to hear your are struggling and for your loss. 

I also lost my Mum in June. How you describe your feelings, I can 100% relate to. I think we all have this image in our heads of how we think we should cope afterwards. However grief will take it's own course and break even the strongest of us. I went from coping so well after our Mums death thinking in some way I was winning with life after keeping myself so busy, so that grief had not got to me... Then boom, it hit me. I did not cope at all. Last few months have been extremely hard. I find the best thing to do is take it a day at a time. A bad day isn't a bad week. Try not been to hard on yourself because it isn't an easy thing to accept! I understand how having your husband and your kids keep you going, as mine do with me also. Although there are days I feel very isolated, I struggle to leave my house some days. I have a few friends but none of them really close. My Mum was my go to person for chats, a cuppa so now I feel I don't really have anyone. Which is hard to get use to, it can make you feel so lonely. I do think this is part of grief in some ways. It makes you see things in a negative way! I hope for you time you can see that life can be good again and feel happiness. I think it will come, or I'm hoping so because this surely can't be the way forward how we feel. Many people tell me it gets easier and I keep the faith that it will one day.